Working with a gender identity therapist was really helpful. She gave great advice, and we had weekly homework. One week, it might be to make a big effort to use the right pronouns. The next week, it might be to reach out to a family member and tell them about the new name, in front of Ashe to show them that we were supportive. At the beginning, Ashe would get upset when I or Ashe’s dad used the wrong pronouns, but they learned to accept that people are going to make mistakes. The therapy lasted a year, and Ashe’s confidence increased as we went through that.

“It All Made Sense:” An Empowering Diagnosis

At the end of 9th grade, Ashe’s therapist suggested a neuropsych. We knew Ashe had trouble at school — struggles with taking tests and keeping focus, but because they were such a likable person, teachers always gave them the benefit of the doubt. It really wasn’t until high school that we saw their grades drop drastically. The tests kept coming back failed. Assignments were not getting handed in on time.

It was unclear to us what was going on. Depression and anxiety run in the family so we were concerned about that, but Ashe had started to do their own research and they said, ‘I think I might have ADHD.’”

Ashe was right: the neuropsych revealed ADHD. It turned out that the anxiety Ashe was feeling came from the ADHD not being managed. The testing was reassuring, and validating. It all made sense. Ashe thought, ‘This is what I’ve been experiencing. Let me try to get everyone in my life to work with this.”

[Read: ADHD in Teens – Your Guide to Warning Signs & Treatments for Adolescents]

I know sometimes when kids with ADHD explore gender, parents can wonder: are they just being impulsive? Ashe is very quick to make decisions and can be very impulsive. But you’re not in your kid’s head, so you have to step back and support them while you see where it goes.

A Surprising Journey

The evolution of the gender journey was surprising. As Ashe moved through high school, after working with the gender therapist, they became really confident in themselves. They started wearing skirts and embracing what we would think of as more feminine presentation, but they were very clear that when they wear a dress, it doesn’t mean they’re a girl. As Ashe has grown older and more knowledgeable and confident, they’ve really learned to love their body. For me, that was a lovely surprise because there can be a lot of body dysmorphia during this kind of gender journey.

The name change was the hardest part for me. Ashe was not the name we gave them. They wanted a more neutral name that they felt suited them better. It hurt at first to not be a part of that process, but looking back and seeing the whole journey, I understand that ‘Ashe’ is the name they feel is them. Now it’s really strange to think back on the dead name, which we do have to use from time to time for legal stuff.

[Read: How to Support a Teen with ADHD Who Is Questioning Their Gender]

In the beginning I asked Ashe a lot, “Can you explain it to me?” Then I stopped, because I realized that I had to do the work of learning, myself — listening to podcasts, reading articles. It shouldn’t necessarily be the child’s responsibility to make you understand.

Support Now. Understand In Time.

I also realized that I didn’t really need to understand in order to support. I figured out that the understanding would come, one day, down the line. But what needed to happen, in that moment, was just support.

The relationships, including friendships, that Ashe has formed are extremely deep and supportive. Ashe now has a boyfriend, and they’ve been together for two years. They have amazing communication for a bunch of 19-year-olds, the way they talk about how to address each other and physical touch and what’s okay with that. There is a lot of really open communication and I think it comes from both of them being so comfortable with who they are.

A lot of people push down who they are — whether that’s gender or sexuality or neurodivergence. But seeing Ashe embrace themselves, I’ve thought, wow, everyone should know as much as they can about themselves — their neurodivergence, gender identity, sexuality. It can open you up to being so much more authentic, and fulfilled.

Gender Diversity and Neurodiversity: Next Steps

• Watch: Gender Diversity and Neurodiversity – How to Support a Child, Teen, or Young Adult with ADHD as They Explore Gender
• Read: How to Be a Neuroqueer Ally
• Read: The Clinicians’ Guide to Serving and Protecting LGBTQIA+ Youth

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

In fourth grade, my favorite teacher led an activity where we had to describe to our peers how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as if they were aliens who had never heard of such a food. As bright fourth graders, we started by telling the other group to “put the peanut butter on the bread.” As you can imagine, the instruction was so vague that my peers, who were only following directions, placed the entire peanut butter jar on top of the bread, which was not our intention. “Working and communicating together in groups can be challenging,” my teacher told me. “Did you learn anything from this?”

Working in groups – and socializing in general – can be especially challenging for kids with ADHD. ADHD is not so much about knowledge-based deficits as it is about performance-based challenges. A lot of us know how to socialize and we understand what’s right and wrong, but we struggle when we need to display our social skills. That’s why it’s so important to practice skills in real time, and why it’s even more important for parents to support and replicate skill-building at home.

The following are three social skills activities I have found help children with ADHD because they can be practiced in a social-skills groups with same-aged peers AND outside of the office with the support of parents:

“LEGO My Creation”

The first strategy, derived from an activity book by Jennifer Cook O’Toole, is written for parents, clinicians, and educators of autistic children. Given the overlap between autism and ADHD, this resource may be helpful more broadly.

[Get This Free Download: A Friendship Guide for Kids with ADHD]

The goal behind this communication activity resembles that of my PB&J fourth grade bit. During the activity, children sit back-to-back and each pair is given identical LEGO pieces. In each pair, Child #1 creates a structure with the pieces while Child #2, still turned the other way, waits. Then, Child #1, who built the structure, practices clearly and patiently communicating what they created to Child #2, who is blind to what Child #1 created. Child #2 has to try to build a replica using only Child #1’s verbal description. Both partners can only see and compare structures at the end of the activity. Before the activity, clinicians and/or parents should discuss helpful tips for easier communication, and children should also be coached and given direct feedback during the activity.

I like this activity because, even if it turns out to be very difficult for the pair, it will likely serve to increase awareness of situations in which children may be misunderstood and need to explain things more clearly. Other versions of this same activity, like drawing, can help with clarifying thoughts and with communicating more effectively.

Two tips I’ve learned in my practice with neurodivergent youth: Make sure the LEGO pieces are large and simplify the task for them as much as you can. The goal is to teach them something, but also to make the task attainable and fun, so if the structure is too difficult to describe, that may suck the fun out of the activity and make the game unnecessarily stressful.

Spin the Confidence Wheel

Many of the neurodivergent pre-teens and teens with whom I work say they want to increase their confidence in social situations. Enter the Confidence Wheel, an activity I derived from my exposure therapy work with anxious youth. Each slice of the wheel is filled in with a unique social anxiety exposure or situation based on the child’s specific triggers. When the wheel stops, the child has to engage in the social anxiety exposure indicated. (For so much of anxiety, the only way out is through.) After discussing the rationale behind this activity and receiving some core coping skills, the child engages in the social anxiety exposure with the support of their social skills group and clinician; they can also practice outside of the office with parental support.

[Read: 5 Ways to Reframe Anxiety for Your Worried Teen]

I like this one because it is applied – it pushes the child to actually DO something rather than just discuss a skill, and it can be practiced with parents’ support. After all, it will be difficult to engage in real-life social skills practice if anxiety is holding them back.

Winging it with Improv

Improvisation has so many social skills built into it — changing and adapting personas based on context, getting used to quick cognitive shifts, following what others are saying, staying on topic – that can help neurodivergent youth rehearse in a funny and supportive environment.

Improv classes, programs, clubs, and camps are everywhere – another benefit of this activity. As individuals with ADHD, we need humor and movement to stay sane, and improv provides both. Here’s a display of one improv activity I’ve seen work well with neurodivergent preteens and teens: LiveKellyandMark.

In each of these activities, we encourage adolescents to interact with others in real time while facing their social fears in fun, supportive environments. These exercises and contexts teach them to love themselves for who they are while opening their minds to new strategies for becoming the best versions of themselves.

Social Skills Activities: Next Steps

• Read: Social Smarts — The Teen Years
• Read: Building (Real) Friendships in the Age of Social Media
• Watch: The Social Reboot – Helping Tween and Teen Boys with ADHD Make Friends

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
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“My autism is extremely invisible,” Lehmann says. “Society has more tolerance for a child having a meltdown but when an adult male who doesn’t look disabled does it, it comes across as very threatening.”

Recently on a work trip, Lehmann’s flight was delayed, causing his “Jenga tower of functioning” to come tumbling down. He kicked a trash can in frustration, attracting the attention of a heavily-armed police officer. Lehmann’s mother stepped in, explaining, “My son has autism. I’ve got this.” The officer took a step back, ready but waiting, as Lehmann calmed down.

Lehmann has had enough negative encounters with law enforcement — cornering him, cursing at him, shaming him — to know this was a best-case scenario. He’s terrified about what could have happened if he hadn’t had a traveling companion, or if the officer was more forceful. He wonders what the outcome might have been if he’d been Black.

The duty of law enforcement is to protect and serve, but when they encounter people with disabilities, too often the result is harm instead of help. Adults and teens with autism, ADHD, and other neurodevelopmental disorders appear to be at a heightened risk for negative outcomes every step of the way in the criminal justice system, from first police contact to questioning and detainment, to jail, trial, and beyond. Mishandled interactions can result in everything from distress and humiliation to jail time, or even death.

[Read: What the Americans with Disabilities Act Means For You]

While no comprehensive data exists on the collective outcomes when people with disabilities encounter police, we do know that neurodivergent individuals are over-represented in the carceral system. Rates of ADHD are six times higher among inmates than in the general public,¹  and rates of intellectual and developmental disabilities (including autism) are four times higher.²

Law Enforcement and the Neurodivergent: Unique Risks

Neurodivergent people face challenges with law enforcement as victims, witnesses, and especially as suspects. For individuals with autism, common behaviors like stimming, avoiding contact, or meltdowns arouse suspicion, which can lead officers to shout commands or make physical contact. This, in turn, intensifies sensory overwhelm and anxiety, making compliance less likely, not more.

Similarly, people with ADHD may have trouble following commands, because of impulsivity or distractibility, and this behavior can be viewed by police as uncooperative or disrespectful. An individual’s hyperactivity and restlessness, exacerbated by confinement to a chair in a small room, might be perceived as a sign of guilt. Working memory problems, time blindness, and memory distrust syndrome may cause a person with ADHD to have difficulty accurately answering questions or to reply, “I don’t know” to even simple questions such as: “Is this the road you live on?” Police may misinterpret this as evasiveness, another possible sign of guilt.

[Read About the Mom Spearheading Police Training on Autism]

In all these cases, what might have begun as a harmless situation can escalate quickly. “Officers that can’t identify the signs of disability may over-utilize force, may make an arrest for a situation that doesn’t call for one,” explains Texas Police Sergeant James Turner, who spent nearly a decade heading the Crisis Intervention Team (CIT) training in Austin, Texas.

Heightened Threats for People of Color

For neurodivergent people of color, the perils of an interaction with police are even greater. Black Americans are killed by police at twice the rate of White Americans, according to the Fatal Force Database, which has been tracking deadly police shootings since 2015.

Stephon Watts, a Black 15-year-old with autism in Illinois, was one of these victims. Watts’ parents called 911 to help respond to their son’s meltdown, but the arrival of the police only escalated Watts’ distress. Police fired two shots, killing Watts in his own home. In 2021, Illinois passed the Stephon Watts Act, also called the Community Emergency Services and Support Act (CESSA), which requires emergency responders to send mental health professionals to respond to mental or behavioral health calls.

Devastating stories like these keep Evelyn Polk Green, M.S., Ed., up at night. Past president of ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) and CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), Green says that as a mother to Black sons with ADHD, she worries about all the things that any mother of a person with ADHD worries about in a police encounter. “It’s just multiplied exponentially by all the other things that we already have to worry about on top of it,” she explains. “Unfortunately, so often law enforcement is ready to jump to the absolute worst conclusion and with Black and brown kids, it’s even worse, because they often automatically assume they’re up to something.”

Disability Awareness Training on De-escalation Techniques

Experts agree: training is the essential first step in ensuring better outcomes. “Most people call 911 when they don’t know what to do. We have to be properly equipped in that moment to handle that crisis,” says Sergeant Turner. “We are problem solvers but we have to have the tools.”

Those tools are exactly what David Whalen, project director for Niagara University First Responder Disability Awareness Training (DAT), aims to provide. The DAT is an eight-hour comprehensive training that covers victimization, Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) compliance, interface with CIT, interaction skills, proper language and specific information on identifying and understanding a dozen disabilities including ADHD, autism, Tourette’s syndrome, dementia, and epilepsy.

Sergeant Turner’s disability awareness training was received during a 40-hour CIT training, required for all cadets in Texas. CIT training addresses how to support people experiencing a mental health crisis, and Turner hastens to clarify: “People with disabilities are not mentally ill, though they can have that issue as well.” Because some of the techniques (including de-escalation) overlap, disability awareness is often folded into CIT training.

Key topics include:

• Recognition of Disability: Officers learn common signs and symptoms of disabilities. Not all individuals can self-identify, and some choose not to. Proper identification of disability prevents officers from jumping to erroneous conclusions, including that the person is intoxicated, and allows for ADA accommodations.
• De-escalation Techniques, including:
  • Giving the individual space and time to respond. Many encounters with disabled individuals take a tragic turn simply because of the speed at which they unfold, creating unmanageable (and often unnecessary) distress. “You don’t always need to rush up on them,” says Turner. “You need to ask yourself, what are the risks vs. benefits of delaying action?”
  • Appropriate communication is essential. If someone with autism is distressed or experiencing sensory overwhelm, for example, a loud, commanding voice may cause further overwhelm. Adjusting tone and pace of speech, or using a pad and pen or hand signals, might be appropriate. Sometimes, Turner says, the key might be to call a family member to ask for specific guidance about support.
  • When force is unavoidable, using less lethal tools like tasers and pepper spray can save lives.
• Connect with Community Resources: Often, Whalen says, it is invaluable for officers to help individuals pursue longer-term support. Turner agrees: “We are not the experts. We just need to know who the experts are.”

“Fighting for Crumbs of Funding”

It’s clear that training works to improve outcomes. Yet there’s enormous variability in how much, if any, disability awareness training police officers receive, since it’s largely determined on a local level.  Too often, Whalen says, training only happens as a term of a settlement after a person with disability, or their family, sues the police for wrongdoing.

This was the case in Maryland; the bill that now requires disability awareness training for all police officers — through the Ethan Saylor Alliance — was created only after a 26-year-old man with Down Syndrome was killed when sheriff deputies tried to forcibly eject him from a movie theater where he neglected to buy a ticket.

“It would be beneficial to have something mandated at the national level but you have got to have the funding to support implementation,” says Leigh Anne McKingsley, senior director of Criminal Justice Initiatives at The Arc. “This issue of disability justice has been bumped down the priority list, and we’re fighting for crumbs of funding to bring about the exposure and education we need.”

Beyond Training: Community Resources

Training is crucial, but McKingsley says: “You can’t just expect training to take care of everything,” This is why, as part of its training, The Arc’s Pathway to Justice program assembles Disability Response Teams (DRT). These are multidisciplinary planning teams that bring together law enforcement, people with disabilities, attorneys, victim advocates, and disability advocates to collaborate in an open dialogue.

“The mandate is, on the day of training, the DRT starts making a plan of action moving forward,” McKingsley says. That includes brainstorming how to address the most glaring gaps in support and services both short and long term, and figuring out how to expand disability training in the community.

Sergeant Turner, who served on a DRT in 2019, agrees that bringing together police officers and people with disabilities leads to better policing. “Anytime someone calls 911, well, it’s probably not the best day of that person’s life,” Turner says. “Showing what a person with a disability looks like when they’re not in crisis is important.” Lehmann agrees: “Get-togethers with fun activities allow police officers to see the human side of disability, and they give that context.”

On the flip side, Lehmann points out, these community events help people with disabilities familiarize themselves with police officers in a calm environment, alleviating anxiety and setting the stage for better outcomes.

To truly tackle the problem though, McKingsley says, we have to understand its contours more fully, and this requires research, which is currently scarce. “Data would help us better evaluate the training, to know what strategies work and why,” he says. “The more we can show how often these encounters are happening, the more we can bolster our ability to go to local and state entities for action.”

Detained by Police? Keep This in Mind

If law enforcement stops you with questions, remember these three key pieces of advice from Rosemary Hollinger, J.D., founder of Partner Up, LLC:

1. First, pause. It’s important to not say the first thought that goes through your mind.
2. Tell the officer you have ADHD. Under the ADA, you’re entitled to reasonable accommodations, including modified questioning, fidgets, frequent breaks, and access to your medication.
3. Before you answer questions, make sure to have someone you trust, such as a lawyer or family member, with you to figure out exactly what happened. You must be truthful and accurate with police, so if you are forgetful and have time blindness, it’s essential to have a lawyer or trusted person with you to support you.

ADHD and the Risk of False Confession

Susan Young, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in London, has conducted extensive research about people with ADHD in the criminal justice system. One study in which she was involved found that people with ADHD were at an increased risk of making a false confession, and the more severe the person’s ADHD, the greater the risk.³

If police don’t recognize that an individual’s difficulty following commands, sitting still, and answering questions is a result of ADHD, they may misinterpret these behaviors as evasive and guilty, explains Young. This may cause police to detain the person for even longer, which in turn exacerbates symptoms — particularly if the person’s ADHD medication has worn off. It’s a vicious, dangerous cycle which creates desperation.

“There’s all this anxiety; they want to get out,” says Young, who adds that sometimes, people with ADHD will choose to proceed without an attorney present, because they can’t bear to extend the process at all.

“They just want to leave,” Young concludes. “And they’ll say anything.”

The study concluded that safeguards for people with ADHD must be “put in place to prevent miscarriages of justice.”

Law Enforcement and Neurodivergent Justice: Next Steps

• Read: Crime, Punishment, and Redemption for My Son with ADHD
• Q&A: Recently Diagnosed, ADA Information
• Read: ADHD Clinicians Must Consider Racial Bias in Evaluation and Treatment of Black Children
• Upcoming Webinar: AuDHD Guidance – Why Autism Is So Difficult to Diagnose in Women and Girls with ADHD

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Sources

¹ Young S, Moss D, Sedgwick O, Fridman M, Hodgkins P. A meta-analysis of the prevalence of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in incarcerated populations. Psychol Med. 2015 Jan;45(2):247–58. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291714000762

²   Bureau of Justice Statistics, Disabilities Among Prison and Jail Inmates, 2011-2012 (U.S. Department of Justice, 2015), tables 4 and 5, http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/dpji1112.pdf.

³ Gudjonsson, G. H., Gonzalez, R. A., & Young, S. (2021). The Risk of Making False Confessions: The Role of Developmental Disorders, Conduct Disorder, Psychiatric Symptoms, and Compliance. Journal of Attention Disorders, 25(5), 715-723. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054719833169

New research proposes that ADHD may increase the risk of gaming disorder (GD) in college students, hindering academic success and sleep. ¹

The study, published in the journal PLOS ONE, reported that 35.7% of college students with GD display ADHD symptoms compared to 23.3% of students without gaming disorder.

Gaming disorder is a mental health condition marked by excessive and compulsive engagement in Internet games, which can significantly disrupt relationships, school, and work. The behavior must be present for at least 12 months (or shorter in severe cases) to receive a GD diagnosis.

After surveying 383 university students in Lebanon, the researchers determined that ADHD symptoms directly affect academic performance and indirectly increase the risk of GD. Among students classified as high academic performers with GPAs of 3.2 and above, only one met the criteria for symptoms of GD or ADHD.

“The absence of GD and ADHD symptoms among high academic performers suggests that academic engagement and success may be protective factors against these conditions,” the study’s authors wrote. “Alternatively, it may be that the symptoms of these disorders disrupt academic performance, which would be consistent with the negative correlation observed between disorder prevalence and academic excellence.”

Gaming behaviors may distract college students from academics as they prioritize playing video games over studying. The study reported that students with a gaming disorder spend more time gaming on weekdays and weekends than do those without the disorder. “The correlation between GD and gaming hours, particularly on non-school days, suggests that free time may exacerbate gaming behaviors, potentially leading to disorder,” the study’s authors wrote. “This finding has practical implications for the management of GD, as it highlights the importance of structured time and alternative leisure activities as part of the therapeutic approach.” ²

Gaming Disorder Affects College Students’ Sleep Habits

According to the researchers, GD also impacts students’ sleep quality and duration. On average, students with GD sleep 6.1 hours; 64.3% wake up in the middle of the night to game. In comparison, those without GD sleep between 6.8 to 7.2 hours, with negligible nocturnal awakenings for males and none for females.

“The high incidence of nocturnal awakenings in the disordered gaming group (DGG) to continue gaming is a concerning trend that warrants attention due to the critical role of sleep in cognitive function, emotional regulation, and overall health,” the study’s authors wrote. ³

Findings also indicate that ADHD is more predictive of GD in females than in males, though other factors beyond ADHD may contribute to the development of GD, especially in females. These results echo a study published in June 2023 in the Journal of Attention Disorders. That study found a staggering 82% of individuals with GD had ADHD; more than half of the participants with ADHD (57%) had GD. ⁴

Why Gaming Appeals to College Students with ADHD

Why are students with ADHD symptoms more susceptible to gaming and, consequently, gaming disorder?

“From escapism and socialization to competition, video games are highly engaging, reinforcing, and stimulating by design,” said Jeremy Edge, LPC, IGDC, during the 2023 ADDitude webinar, “Addictive Technology and Its Impact on Teen Brains.” “Prolonged, excessive exposure to immediate rewards and dopamine hits in gaming may diminish the number of dopamine receptors in the brain over time, which can lead to tolerance and further stimulation seeking. ⁵ Gamers who are motivated by both escapism and achievement and who consider gaming part of their identity, are most at risk for problematic or disordered gaming.”

While the PLOS ONE study suggests a strong link between ADHD symptoms and GD, the study’s design does not establish causality and relies on self-reported data, which may introduce bias. In addition, the prevalence of ADHD in the sample is also higher than typical epidemiological estimates.

“More longitudinal studies are needed to clarify the causal relationships between ADHD and GD and to track how these relationships evolve,” the study’s authors wrote.

Edge emphasized that anyone showing signs of gaming disorder should talk to a doctor or mental health professional. “While still a growing field, help for technology addiction is available and ranges from psychotherapy and inpatient treatment clinics to recovery programs, support groups, and even medication,” he said.

Sources

¹ Hawai, N., Samaha, M. (2024). Relationships of Gaming Disorder, ADHD, and Academic Performance in University Students: A Mediation Analysis. PLOS ONE. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0300680

² Buono, F.D., et al. (2020). Gaming and Gaming Disorder: A Mediation Model Gender, Salience, Age of Gaming Onset, and Time Spent Gaming. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 23(9): p. 647–651. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2019.0445

³ Bourchtein, E., Langberg, J.M., Cusick, C.N., Breaux, R.P., Smith, Z.R., Becker, S.P. (2019). Technology Use and Sleep in Adolescents With and Without Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. J Pediatr Psychol. https://doi.org/10.1093/jpepsy/jsy101

⁴ Hong, J. S., Bae, S., Starcervic, V., & Han, D. H. (2023). Correlation Between Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Internet Gaming Disorder or Gaming Disorder. Journal of Attention Disorders, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547231176861

⁵ Sussman, C. J., Harper, J. M., Stahl, J. L., & Weigle, P. (2018). Internet and Video Game Addictions: Diagnosis, Epidemiology, and Neurobiology. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America,27(2), 307–326. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chc.2017.11.015

One of the greatest gifts, and challenges, of this life stage is the freedom to explore and choose — in personal and professional realms. This is liberating, but if you’re a young adult with executive functioning deficits, dealing with housing, roommates, work, and relationship issues can be stressful.

Advice for Young Adults with ADHD

Follow these six rules for transitioning to independent living:

1. Pay your bills on time. Set up bill-pay reminders or automatic payments. Use a budget app to track how you spend money. Shop with cash only to limit impulsive purchases. Understand credit card terms and the importance of a good credit score. If you need help making a budget, ask experienced friends, your parents, or other caring adults.

2. Show up when you are expected. Give yourself more time than you think you’ll need (or even plan to arrive early). Use analog clocks, watches, and timers to manage time effectively. Use calendars to remind yourself of events and responsibilities.

3. Set routines. Create habits and schedules to support your health. Exercise regularly to improve ADHD symptoms, memory, and mood; eat a balanced diet; and stick to a regular sleep schedule.

[Get This Free Download: Get Control of Your Life and Schedule]

4. Notice your emotional triggers. Whether it’s a stomach knot or sweaty palms, pay attention to signals that indicate strong emotions before they escalate. In a calm moment, make a list of soothing activities to help you reset. Breathing techniques, stepping outside, or going to the bathroom to splash water on your face are a few ideas.

5. Learn to communicate effectively. Conflict happens. In tense conversations with friends, housemates, and colleagues, it’s important to communicate without blame and to listen without judgment. When your housemates are up until 2 a.m. on a work night, drinking and gaming loudly in the living room, rushing out of your bedroom to yell at them won’t help. You could ask them nicely to lower the volume or ask for a meeting the next day to express your frustrations using this formula: “I feel __________ when you __________ because __________ .” The goal is to reach a good compromise.

6. Be smart about dating. After you’ve connected with someone (online, at a party, or elsewhere), meet them at a public place you already know. Tell friends where you are going and with whom. Despite your ADHD go-with-the-flow impulses, don’t go home with them or bring them to your home right away. Give yourself time to evaluate this person, and let your friends meet them, too.

Advice for Parents of Young Adults

When decision-making moves from parents to adult children, the road turns rocky in new ways. The dilemma for many parents of young people with ADHD is this: When should I express my concerns about their choices or risky behaviors?

Parental authority and influence decrease dramatically as our children age. By the time they reach their 20s, a parent can only say and do so much. Then it’s time to let go.

[Read: ADHD Independence-Building Strategies for Parents]

Here are a few ideas to help parents foster connection and independence:

• Listen with genuine curiosity. Acknowledge what you hear. Before you respond, reflect on what you are going to say. Are you about to tell them what to do? If so, how can you reframe your suggestion as a question?
• Pick your battles. Agree on your role in giving reminders, for example, and the circumstances under which you will say nothing. Separate your anxiety from theirs. Wait 24 hours to process an upsetting issue so everybody cools down enough to have a conversation.
• Trust your kids. What did you want most from your parents? I wanted my parents to stop asking questions about how I was going to use my college degree and to trust the process of my explorations. Your kids will figure it out, ultimately, just as you did.

Watch for Warning Signs

You want to respect your adult child’s space, but you also want to be able to identify concerning behaviors or situations when they appear. Here are red flags that may signal trouble ahead:

• Substance use: Young adults with ADHD face an increased risk for substance abuse. Promptly address any signs of substance misuse, such as appearing impaired, experiencing problems meeting obligations at work or at school, or withdrawing from important activities.
• Anxiety at work: Watch for signs of workplace stress, and help your child brainstorm coping mechanisms. Maintain open communication about your young adult’s occupational challenges, including job stability and performance.
• Career planning: Is your college student exploring suitable career paths with access to accommodations? Ask about exploratory conversations with educators and career counselors.
• ADHD treatment: Do missed appointments or lost items suggest that your child is not consistently managing their ADHD medication? Encourage them to maintain steady treatment and secure support through therapy and academic or occupational accommodations.

Embracing Independence with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Securing ADHD Accommodations in College
• Read: Enabling vs. Supporting – Helping ADHD Kids Be Independent
• Read: 5 Life Skills Every Young Adult with ADHD Should (Eventually) Master

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Register to reserve your spot for this free webinar and webinar replay ►

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Children and teens with ADHD are most likely to be bullied at school than their neurotypical peers. Why? ADHD symptoms and behaviors like impulsivity, trouble detecting social cues, low self-esteem, and executive function deficits make them easy targets.

What you might not know is that bullying and abuse can physically harm a child’s brain architecture and function. The neurological scars are visible on brain scans.

What’s empowering and inspiring is that all brains benefit from neuroplasticity, which means they are shaped by environment and by practice. Learn about the strategies that can help your child with or without ADHD better cope with and respond to bullies. The more parents, teachers, and coaches understand about how brains may suffer from bullying and abusive conduct, the better equipped they will be to prevent, protect, and respond to these harmful acts.

In this webinar, you will learn about:

• The ADHD symptoms and behaviors that may make children with the condition a target
• The different forms of bullying, and the harmful physical impact that each may have on a child’s brain structure and function
• Strategies and practices to repair the neurological scars from bullying and abuse
• Practical and actionable interventions for strengthening the brain and restoring holistic health

Have a question for our expert? There will be an opportunity to post questions for the presenter during the live webinar.

Meet the Expert Speaker

Jennifer Fraser, Ph.D., is an award-winning teacher of 20 years and the author of four books. Her latest book, The Bullied Brain: Heal Your Scars and Restore Your Health, tackles all forms of bullying and abuse to examine how they impact the brain. (#CommissionsEarned) She also writes a regular series for Psychology Today called “Bullied Brain,” which explains the important but little-known research into just how much bullying and abuse can physically hurt brain structure and function.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Bullying, Trauma, and ADHD: More Resources

• Download: Secrets of the ADHD Brain
• Get: The ADHD Guide to Making & Keeping Friends
• Read: 13 Trauma-Informed Teaching Strategies for Educators Today
• Read: How to Protect Your Child From Cyberbullying

Certificate of Attendance: For information on how to purchase the certificate of attendance option (cost $10), register for the webinar, then look for instructions in the email you’ll receive one hour after it ends. The certificate of attendance link will also be available here, on the webinar replay page, several hours after the live webinar. ADDitude does not offer CEU credits.

Closed captions available.

The lives of girls and women with ADHD are jeopardized by exponentially higher rates of self-harm, suicidality, and intimate partner violence, as compared with their neurotypical counterparts or with neurodivergent boys and men.

“ADHD in girls portends continuing problems through early adulthood that are of substantial magnitude across multiple domains of symptomatology and functional impairment,” write the authors of the Berkeley Girls ADHD Longitudinal Study (BGALS) follow-up study.¹ “The sheer range of negative outcomes is noteworthy; the most striking include the high occurrences of suicide attempts and self-injury in the ADHD sample, confined to the childhood-diagnosed combined type.”

What We Know About Self-Harm

This is an arresting statistic, particularly considering how self-harm and suicidality have spiked in adolescent girls in general. The most recent CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) report found that 1 in 10 girls has attempted suicide, and 1 in 3 of girls seriously considered suicide during the past year, which is an increase of nearly 60% from a decade ago.

Research suggests that neurodivergent girls face a significantly higher risk for self-harm than do neurodivergent boys, or neurotypical people of any gender. A 2020 study in European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry found that the rate of self-harm was four times greater in females than it was in males (8.7% vs 2.2%).²  A 2022 ADDitude survey found reports of self-harm among 18% of girls with ADHD versus 9% of boys with ADHD.

The correlation between teen girls with ADHD and self-harm is so strong that a 2021 study published in Child and Adolescent Mental Health proposed that all teen girls treated for self-harming behavior should be screened for ADHD:³ A full 83% of teen patients admitted to the hospital for self-harm were girls, the study found.

Indeed, early diagnosis and treatment of ADHD is critical to mitigating the risk of self-harm. “Girls and women with untreated ADHD are at double the risk for engaging in self-harm and significantly more likely to attempt suicide,” says Julia Schechter, Ph.D., of the Duke Center for Girls and Women with ADHD.

What We Know About Intimate Partner Violence

Low self-esteem, high rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), and social skill deficits put women and girls with ADHD at heightened risk for intimate partner violence (IPV). A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology found that: ⁴

• Girls with ADHD were five times more likely to be victims of physical intimate partner violence than non-ADHD girls (30% vs. 6%)
• Greater ADHD symptom severity in childhood was associated with increased risk for physical victimization

“Findings indicate that in young women, childhood ADHD is a specific and important predictor of physically violent victimization in their intimate relationships,” write the authors of the study. “Given the devastating impact of intimate partner violence, additional research on how to empower females with ADHD in their social and romantic relationships is greatly needed.”

What We Know About Substance Use

The connection between SUD and ADHD has been well-established through research. We know that:

• People with ADHD are three times more likely to develop an SUD then those without⁵
• 25% of adults with SUD have ADHD⁶ 
• SUD is often more severe in individuals with ADHD⁷

Among the general population, we know that teen girls are more likely to use substances than are teen boys. According to the CDC’s YRBS:

• Alcohol: 27% of teen girls reported drinking in the last month vs 19% of boys
• Vaping: 21% of girls reported vaping in the last month vs 15% of boys
• Illicit drugs: 15% of girls reported ever using illicit drugs vs 12% of boys
• Misuse of prescription opioids: 15% of girls reported ever misusing opioids vs 10% of boys

That said, studies on the prevalence of SUD among girls and women with ADHD have resulted in mixed findings. An elevated risk of substance use was found in a large-scale study led by Joseph Biederman, M.D.,⁸  however no such association was found in the BGALS follow-up.

Most recently, researched at the University of Minnesota conducted a study investigating how ADHD symptoms may influence substance use in women and men, and it found a stronger association between alcohol use and ADHD for young adult women than for young adult men.⁹

“The current study confirms that ADHD-associated risk for adult substance problems is consistently greater in magnitude for women,” the authors of the study write. “The presence of adult ADHD increases risk for substance problems in women more than men.”

What We Don’t Know

No research exists on the relative efficacy of interventions that may reduce the risks for self-harm, suicidality, intimate partner violence, and substance use among girls and women with ADHD. Without fully understanding where these threats begin and how they escalate, we cannot devise and adjust solutions.

The BGALS follow-up study found elevated risks of self-harm and suicidality only among girls with combined-type ADHD, and not among those with inattentive symptoms alone, which leads researchers to speculate that impulsivity is associated with higher risk. Researchers also posit that psychosocial factors, such as the teen’s environment, contribute to the likelihood of self-harm. Longitudinal research is needed, however, to confirm this.

“What are the transition points — psychologically, family or school-related, community-wide — that predict impairment vs. resilience for girls with ADHD as they transition through adolescence to adulthood?” asks Hinshaw. “What are the strategies and supports that teen girls and women with ADHD find most helpful in self-advocacy and thriving?”

In the British Journal of Psychiatry,¹⁰ Hinshaw and doctoral student Sinclaire O’Grady call for longitudinal research on long-term correlated outcomes, such as the development of borderline personality disorder, as well as research into the intergenerational transmission of risk for negative outcomes in the children of women with ADHD.

Further research is needed to answer the following questions:

• What are the specific predictors and mediators of the high risk for self-harm in girls and women with ADHD?
• Does screening self-harming teens for ADHD reduce the occurrence of self-harm?
• What, exactly, makes early adulthood a time of heightened risk for substance use issues, specifically for women with ADHD?
• What are the impacts of ADHD treatment on intimate partner violence victimization?
• What psychosocial interventions, specific to girls and women with ADHD, may mitigate risk of intimate partner violence victimization?

Why It Matters

Researching suicidality, self-harm, intimate partner violence, and substance abuse among women with ADHD will, quite literally, save lives.

A study led by Russell Barkley, Ph.D., published in the Journal of Attention Disorders, found that life expectancy was 13 years lower for patients with combined-type ADHD diagnosed in childhood and with persistent symptoms, relative to control children.¹¹

However, because of the severely limited number of females in the study, the findings are largely not relevant. No major study has investigated the impact of ADHD on life expectancy specifically in women.

With dramatically higher rates of self-harm and suicidality, as well as intimate partner violence, this research is desperately needed to protect women from bodily harm, as well as devastating emotional consequences.

What ADDitude Readers Tell Us

Feelings of loneliness, RSD, emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and low self-worth exert a crushing emotional burden — and prompt some readers to harm themselves, to abuse substances, and to maintain toxic relationships.

“I made poor choices that led to abuse,” says Debs, an ADDitude reader in the United Kingdom. “I’ve taken substances to make the pain less, and I have self-harmed to try to take away the pain.”

“The inner turmoil just seems to get louder and louder and more difficult to turn down, which leads to unhealthy ways of coping like self-harm to help manage the stress,” shares Laura, an ADDitude reader in Texas.

“I abuse cannabis,” explains ADDitude reader Elizabeth, in the United Kingdom.

“Sometimes I feel worthless and want to self-harm because of RSD, assuming I’m not loved by my loved ones.”

“I get myself in relationships that aren’t good for me as I’m just happy that somebody finally loves me despite my flaws,” explains ADDitude reader Annika in Germany. “Self-harm comes into play when I feel like a failure because the relationship is rocky, and I get invalidated or criticized.”

“I constantly feel like I’m failing, which makes the thoughts about self-harm pop up often, although I haven’t given in to those for a while now,” says Lizzy in the Netherlands.

“I drink a lot right now,” says Nicole, an ADDitude reader in Washington. “I know it is unhealthy, but it is the only way for me to cope.”

“I have a history of self-harm, which was sometimes brought on my intense feelings of worthlessness and loneliness,” shares an anonymous ADDitude reader.

What ADHD Experts Say

The long-term ravages of underdiagnosed and undertreated ADHD in women are dire — a matter of life and death in some cases. To develop effective interventions, research is essential.

“There is a critical need for studies into how increasing degrees of isolation, shame, and despair lead to self-harm and earlier mortality, exploring the relationships to early chronic trauma, impulsivity, poor self-care,” says Ellen Littman, Ph.D. “Research must respond to outcomes signaling such a significant public health crisis.”

“Too little is known about later-adult outcomes of females with ADHD,” write Hinshaw and O’Grady. “Overall, we contend that the extraordinarily high risk for self-harm incurred by girls with ADHD as they mature requires a shift in clinical perspective.”

“Girls and women with untreated or undertreated ADHD — or those who have been misdiagnosed with other conditions — have been put at higher risk for an array of negative outcomes including higher rates of depression and anxiety, intimate partner victimization, and risky sexual behaviors resulting in teen and unplanned pregnancies,” says Schechter. “Research specifically devoted to girls and women with ADHD is not only an issue of equity but a life-or-death issue for some girls and women.”

Self Harm & Intimate Partner Violence: Related Resources

• Suicide &Crisis Lifeline: Call or Text 988
  988lifeline.org
• National Sexual Assault Helpline: 1-800-656-HOPE
• National Substance Abuse Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP
• Stop Bullying

Related Reading

• Teen Girls Are Not Alright. ADHD Magnifies the Crisis.
• ADHD in Women and Girls: Why Female Symptoms Slip Through Diagnostic Cracks
• Why Do Toxic Relationships Swallow People with ADHD?
• Girls and Women with ADHD: Unique Risks, Crippling Stigma
• Substance Use Disorders and ADHD: 5 Key Facts and Additional Resources
• “If the Story of My Unplanned Pregnancy Helps Just One Person, It Was Worth Sharing.”

We Demand Attention: A Call for Greater Research on ADHD in Women

Intro: Top 10 Research Priorities

1. Sex Difference in ADHD
2. The Health Consequences of Delayed ADHD Diagnoses on Women
3. How Hormonal Changes Impact ADHD Symptoms in Women
4. How Perimenopause and Menopause Impact ADHD Symptoms, and Vice Versa
5. The Elevated Risk for PMDD and PPD Among Women with ADHD
6. The Safety and Efficacy of ADHD Medication Use During Pregnancy and While Nursing
7. How ADHD Medication Adjustments During the Monthly Menstrual Cycle Could Improve Outcomes for Women
8. The Long-Term and Short-Term Implications of Hormonal Birth Control and Hormone-Replacement Therapy Use Among Women with ADHD
9. How and Why Comorbid Conditions Like Anxiety, Depression, and Eating Disorders Uniquely Impact Women with ADHD
10. Early Indicators of Self-Harm, Partner Violence, and Substance Abuse Among Girls and Women with ADHD

Sources

¹ SP, Owens EB, Zalecki C, Huggins SP, Montenegro-Nevado AJ, Schrodek E, Swanson EN. Prospective follow-up of girls with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder into early adulthood: continuing impairment includes elevated risk for suicide attempts and self-injury. J Consult Clin Psychol. 2012 Dec;80(6):1041-1051. doi: 10.1037/a0029451. Epub 2012 Aug 13. PMID: 22889337; PMCID: PMC3543865.

² Ohlis, A., Bjureberg, J., Lichtenstein, P. et al. Comparison of suicide risk and other outcomes among boys and girls who self-harm. Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry 29, 1741–1746 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-020-01490-y

³ Ward JH, Curran S. Self-harm as the first presentation of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in adolescents. Child Adolesc Ment Health. 2021 Nov;26(4):303-309. doi: 10.1111/camh.12471. Epub 2021 May 3. PMID: 33939246.

⁴ Guendelman MD, Ahmad S, Meza JI, Owens EB, Hinshaw SP. Childhood Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Predicts Intimate Partner Victimization in Young Women. J Abnorm Child Psychol. 2016 Jan;44(1):155-66. doi: 10.1007/s10802-015-9984-z. PMID: 25663589; PMCID: PMC4531111.

⁵ Wilens T. E. (2004). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and the substance use disorders: the nature of the relationship, subtypes at risk, and treatment issues. The Psychiatric clinics of North America, 27(2), 283–301. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0193-953X(03)00113-8

⁶ Charach, A., Yeung, E., Climans, T., & Lillie, E. (2011). Childhood attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and future substance use disorders: comparative meta-analyses. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 50(1), 9–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2010.09.019

⁷ Wilens, T. E., & Morrison, N. R. (2011). The intersection of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance abuse. Current opinion in psychiatry, 24(4), 280–285. https://doi.org/10.1097/YCO.0b013e328345c956

⁸ Biederman J, Monuteaux MC, Mick E, Spencer T, Wilens TE, Klein KL, Price JE, Faraone SV. Psychopathology in females with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a controlled, five-year prospective study. Biol Psychiatry. 2006 Nov 15;60(10):1098-105. doi: 10.1016/j.biopsych.2006.02.031. Epub 2006 May 19. PMID: 16712802.

⁹ Elkins IJ, Saunders GRB, Malone SM, Wilson S, McGue M, Iacono WG. Differential implications of persistent, remitted, and late-onset ADHD symptoms for substance abuse in women and men: A twin study from ages 11 to 24. Drug Alcohol Depend. 2020 Jul 1;212:107947. doi: 10.1016/j.drugalcdep.2020.107947. Epub 2020 Feb 27. PMID: 32444170; PMCID: PMC7293951.

¹⁰ O’Grady SM, Hinshaw SP. Long-term outcomes of females with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: increased risk for self-harm. Br J Psychiatry. 2021 Jan;218(1):4-6. doi: 10.1192/bjp.2020.153. PMID: 33019955; PMCID: PMC7867565.

¹¹ Barkley, R. A., & Fischer, M. (2019). Hyperactive Child Syndrome and Estimated Life Expectancy at Young Adult Follow-Up: The Role of ADHD Persistence and Other Potential Predictors. Journal of Attention Disorders, 23(9), 907-923. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054718816164

If you’re a mom who is raising children with ADHD, you may have complicated feelings about Mother’s Day. You may feel unnoticed and left out on this day, as the unique challenges and joys of caring for a neurodivergent child aren’t often widely represented. A “thank you” from your little one would be wonderful, you say. Then again, you also recognize that your child may have trouble expressing their thoughts and how they really feel about you, much less planning and executing breakfast in bed.

So this one’s for the amazing moms who are always in their kiddo’s corner, no matter what. The heartfelt thanks your kid would give you if they had the words (even if they accidentally forgot about Mother’s Day)? They’re all here:

[Read: What ADHD Moms Really Want This Mother’s Day]

5 Things Your ADHD Kiddo Really Means to Tell You on Mother’s Day

1. Thank you for understanding me. “Mom, you always try to understand me, even when I’m all over the place. I know it’s not always easy, but you make me feel like I’m okay just the way I am.”

2. I appreciate how you keep me organized. “The way you help me stay organized and on track is a lifesaver. Your checklists and reminders really help me, even if I don’t always show it.”

3. I admire your calmness. “When I get overwhelmed or upset, you stay so calm. It helps me feel safe and helps me calm down, too. You have this magic way of making everything better.”

4. I’m sorry for the tough days. “I know there are days when I really test your patience, and I’m sorry. Thank you for sticking with me through the tantrums, the meltdowns, and everything else.”

[Read: “Dear Mom of a Newly Diagnosed Kid with ADHD”]

5. Thanks for believing in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. “You always believe I can do great things, even when I mess up or get distracted. Knowing that you believe in me makes me feel like I can do anything.”

They might not thank you this Mother’s Day, but someday they will — whether through their words or actions. Until then, I’m here to remind you just how much you mean.

Mother’s Day & ADHD Families: Next Steps

• Read: 10 Thoughtul Mother’s Day Gift Ideas
• Read: “To My Kids: A Love Letter from Your Scatterbrained, Unpredictable, Truly Lucky Mom”
• Read: Overwhelmed Mom Syndrome — It’s a Real Thing
• Read: What Your Child Would Tell You About ADHD If They Had the Words

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

These are the Mother’s Day gifts that ADDitude readers really want — more than flowers, chocolates, and even jewelry. So look no further for gift ideas that moms with ADHD raising children with ADHD say would make their lives easier, make them feel appreciated, and bring a smile to their (tired) faces.

Got another gift idea? Share it in the comments.

Gifts for Mom: What Parents Really Want

“I want three days all by myself with no priorities and no piles waiting for me when I get back.” — Krysta, Canada

“All new socks for everyone in my house and someone ELSE to match them for the rest of my life. But a realistic gift… I want new markers for my coloring books.” — Tammy, New Jersey

[Read: “My Mom Has ADHD” Stories of Growing Up with an ADD Mother]

“A foot rub. A session with an interior decorator.” — Jill, Maryland

“A spa weekend with my best friend in a neurodivergent-friendly environment.” — Esther, Kentucky

“No more Rx refill hassles would be a DREAM! And yes, extra sleep and a personal chef. Also having no plans would be pretty great.” — Barbara, Texas

“I ask my kids not to buy me a tangible gift. It is just one more thing I have to clean and maintain. To make me feel special, I ask them to do an errand I am avoiding, like drop off dry cleaning or return a purchase.” — An ADDitude Reader

[Read: “Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood.”]

“A sleep-in. Coffee brought to me. Breakfast cooked for me, and an outing organized by my husband. I just want to be a passenger for the day. I don’t want to make a single decision except about what I feel like wearing.” — Jolene, Australia

“Professional housecleaning is the kind of gift I’d like. A clean house helps me feel centered and grounded. Clutter makes me anxious.” — An ADDitude Reader

“A magic wand to solve all financial problems.” — Kate, Australia

“An extra 10 hours a day to do all the things I want to do and connect with all the people who I don’t have time to stay in touch with.” — Sally, Australia

“A night out with live music and someone else doing all the driving.” — Emily, North Carolina

“A re-do button! Or a pause one.” — Amber, Wisconsin

“To find a doctor or a psychologist who will actually LISTEN TO ME. (They say children aren’t heard? Neither are mothers.)” — Winter, New Mexico

“Getting meds more easily would be nice…and having my child take them without arguing would be even nicer.” — An ADDitude Reader

“A live-in massage therapist.” — Brenda, Massachusetts

“Someone to clean the bathrooms for a year.” — Anne, Australia

“Someone to take all the responsibility away from me for a day. To have dinner made, the kitchen cleaned, the laundry folded, etc.” — Marla, New Jersey

“As a mom, I would love an hour of extra sleep sometimes! (Well, maybe most of the time.) But I am just thankful and love the support I get from my family. They truly help me keep going every single day. My partner supports me in every aspect and for that, I am so blessed.” —  Glady, Oregon

Gifts for Mom: Next Steps

• Shop: 10 Books Every Woman Should Read After Her ADHD Diagnosis
• Read: The Bumbling Dad Trope, Reversed — On Motherhood with ADHD
• Read: A Tribute to My Mom, an ADHD Trailblazer
• Read: To My Kids — A Love Letter from Your Scatterbrained, Unpredictable, Truly Lucky Mom

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Hormonal contraceptives (HC) may help stabilize the fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone that occur during the menstrual cycle and in perimenopause that are particularly impairing for neurodivergent women, however research has found a correlation between some types of oral HC use and higher rates of depression in women with ADHD.

The impact of sex hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, on ADHD symptoms in women has only recently become the subject of scientific inquiry. A recent study found that various ADHD symptoms wax and wane depending on the menstrual phase. Researchers found that estrogen has a protective effect for both cognition and emotional regulation, and that ADHD symptoms tend to worsen when estrogen drops. ¹

These findings are reflected in the lived experience of ADDitude readers. In a recent survey, a full 98% of respondents reported experiencing hormone-related changes in cognitive function and/or mood, including changes in focus, attention and memory as well as emotional regulation.

Oral HC, or birth control pills, typically contain synthetic estrogen and progesterone. In addition to preventing pregnancy, they are often used to treat heavy menstrual bleeding, painful cramps, irregular periods, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and acne. In addition, some clinicians prescribe oral HC to stabilize hormone levels in women and treat premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and/or premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which impact two-thirds of women with ADHD, according to an ADDitude survey.

Until recently, the implications of oral HC use for women with ADHD were entirely uninvestigated, however a recent study published in Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (JAACP),² revealed that:

• Women with ADHD who used combined oral contraceptives (COC) or progestogen-only pills (POP) had more than five times the risk for depression compared to women without ADHD who did not use hormonal contraceptives.
• This elevated risk was not found among women with ADHD who used non-oral HCs, such as hormonal IUDs or progestogen implants. These women had the same risk of developing depression as did their non-ADHD counterparts.
• This elevated risk was also not found among women without ADHD who used oral HC.
• Women taking HC for medical reasons (heavy bleeding, irregular periods, PCOS) were twice as likely to develop depression as those who took it primarily to prevent pregnancy. Taking HC for medical reasons was more common in women with ADHD than it was in women without ADHD.

“Systemic hormonal contraception contains progestins that inhibit the ovulatory cycle and thereby ‘smoothens’ the hormonal profile, but it may also mimic the negative mood symptoms experienced from natural progesterone during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle,” explains Lotta Burg Skoglund, M.D., Ph.D., a lead author on the study. “However, most women do not experience these negative mood effects and, somewhat counterintuitively, some progestins may even alleviate symptoms of PMDD.”

An ADDitude survey of nearly 5,000 women revealed that 93% of respondents aged 45 and older experienced elevated and aggravated ADHD symptoms in perimenopause and/or menopause. More than half of these women said their ADHD symptoms — including feelings of overwhelm, procrastination, and memory issues — had a “life-altering impact” in menopause. We know that for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can effectively alleviate common symptoms of menopause, such as hot flashes, mood lability, and insomnia, and it may offer other benefits.

“Studies show that HRT, if initiated within 10 years of menopause, reduces all-cause mortality and risks of coronary disease, osteoporosis, and dementia,”³ explains Jeanette Wasserstein, Ph.D., in the ADDitude article, “Menopause, Hormones & ADHD: What We Know, What Research is Needed.” “Overall, recent research suggests that the risk in using any type of HRT is lower than previously reported in literature.”

Research has revealed heightened risk for some cancers associated with some forms of HRT, so Wasserstein highlights that a thorough consultation with a medical provider is critical before beginning HRT.

What We Don’t Know

No studies have probed the implications of HRT use for climacteric women with ADHD and we know very little about the potential benefits or risks of HC for women with ADHD.

“ADHD is a common illness, but few studies have looked at the association of hormonal stages and ADHD symptoms,” write the authors of a systematic review of sex hormones, reproductive stages, and ADHD published in Archives of Women’s Mental Health.⁴ “Notably, we did not find any studies investigating ADHD symptoms in other female physiological states such as pregnancy or menopause or looking at the response of patients with ADHD to hormonal treatments such as hormone replacement therapy.”

The small puzzle pieces of existing data are surrounded by questions. Why, for example, did women with ADHD on oral HC experience far higher rates of depression while those on hormone implants or IUDs did not? Until more research is conducted, researchers are left to theorize.

“It may be that, when taking oral birth control, women with ADHD might be extra susceptible to forget to take their birth control pills or may take them irregularly, causing hormonal fluctuations that may destabilize mood,” explained Skoglund in her ADDitude webinar, “The Emotional Lives of Girls with ADHD.” Also, a woman’s hormonal levels will fluctuate during assumed pill-free intervals.”

Some anecdotal reports suggest the use of oral HC, which minimize hormonal fluctuations, may improve ADHD symptoms in some women.

“I was surprised and amazed by the extent to which my focus and my executive functioning improved since I started hormonal birth control,” said Silvia, an ADDitude reader in Italy. “I totally reshaped my life: I decided to start coaching people again, joined a company and am thinking of going back to university again to obtain a second degree. I don’t experience mood swings anymore and I feel less exposure to RSD.”

These anecdotal reports offer promise. But without research, clinicians lack a solid foundation of data to make treatment recommendations.

“We need to find out why some women feel better with oral contraceptives and others feel depressed,” says J.J. Sandra Kooij, M.D., Ph.D. “It is about hormone sensitivity, and how hormones interact with neurotransmitters such as dopamine in women with ADHD, but exactly what drives this difference is still unclear.”

Given a total lack of research studies, there is virtually no reliable science regarding the risks and benefits of HRT for peri- and post-menopausal women. Among the many questions that remain unanswered are the following:

• Does HRT improve symptoms of ADHD in climacteric women?
• Does HRT pose unique risks, either physiological or psychological, to women with ADHD?
• Does HRT impact the efficacy of stimulant or non-stimulant medication for ADHD?
• Are there women with ADHD for whom oral HCs mitigate ADHD symptoms? If so, what is known about this patient profile that can help clinicians make treatment recommendations? What types of oral HCs are most effective and least disruptive for this group?
• What factors account for the increase in depression in some women with ADHD on HC? If oral contraceptives are taken daily as indicated, does the risk decrease?
• Does oral or non-oral HC impact the efficacy of stimulant or non-stimulant medication for ADHD?

Why It Matters

Hormonal contraceptives are among several first-line treatments for PMS and PMDD, which impact women with ADHD with heightened frequency and intensity.⁵ Symptoms of these mood disorders are frequently debilitating, and include suicidal ideation. A comprehensive understanding of possible treatment options for these women could significantly improve quality of life and reduce the risk of self-harm.

Reliable, well-tolerated contraception is also critical for girls and women with ADHD because they are six times more likely to give birth as teenagers compared with women without this diagnosis, according to a recent study led by Skoglund. ⁶

These dramatically heightened rates of unplanned pregnancy were also found in the groundbreaking Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study, led by Stephen P. Hinshaw, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. “By the time they reached their mid to late 20s, about 43% of the BGALS participants in the ADHD group had one or more unplanned pregnancies,” Hinshaw told ADDitude.

Research has found that experiencing unwelcome psychological side effects is the most commonly reported reason for the discontinuation of hormonal contraception, a decision which could have far-reaching implications.⁷

“Unwanted pregnancy undermines women’s schooling, health and social status and is directly linked to the negative psychosocial impact of ADHD on health, autonomy, academic performance, and quality of life,” Skoglund says. “Averting underage parenthood through effective contraception methods will likely benefit women’s education, empowerment, health and quality of life, their families, offspring, and society from a health economic perspective and have broad and public health benefits, extending far beyond the targeted group.”

What ADDitude Readers Tell Us

Hormonal contraceptives earn mixed reviews from readers, some of whom find them helpful in balancing mood and reducing ADHD symptoms; others report that HC use increases in anxiety, irritability and depression, among other intolerable side effects.

“Hormonal birth control affected me so negatively that I went off of it. It was highly disruptive to my mood and overall wellbeing,” says Jen, a reader in Utah. “I don’t mess with the hormones — even though they love to mess with me.”

“I had an IUD for 7 years. Within a few days, I could not believe the change in my mood. I felt more emotionally even and steady than I had felt in years,” shares ADDitude reader Anne.

“My PMDD was exacerbated by any hormone preparation, including the pill. The low-dose Mirena was an absolute nightmare for me,” says Nicole, an ADDitude reader. “I’m so hesitant to try anything to manage impending menopause, which has me ever more on edge, and I’m not sure yet how to advise my teen on these matters.”

“I started birth control due to PMDD. The mini-pill has been fantastic for my ADHD. I have fewer hormonal fluctuations,” says Karen, an ADDitude reader in Idaho. “I can finally rely on myself to be functional every day (as long as I get enough sleep and take my ADHD meds).”

“I detested the combined pill. It wrecked my mental health, and gave me dangerous migraines),” offers another ADDitude reader. “I was still disorganized, unmotivated with the added bonus of all the physical and mental downsides of the combined pill.”

ADDitude readers often report improved brain fog, memory issues, and mood swings while on HRT, though some say their doctors resist prescribing hormone replacement.

“As I approach menopause, my ADHD symptoms have worsened exponentially — severe memory and concentration problems, plus brain fog, mood swings, acne, sleep problems, fatigue. I’ve been barely able to work for almost a year now,” says Jennifer, an ADDitude reader in California. “I begged my doctor for HRT, but they won’t prescribe it since I’m not technically in menopause yet. They put me back on the pill to see if that would help, but it didn’t help at all with any of my current symptoms and gave me terrible cramps and made me feel crappy the whole time.”

“I am really glad to be on estrogen HRT because it is preventing the double-whammy of menopause and ADHD, at least for now,” says Jaime, an ADDitude reader in North Carolina.

“I have recently started on hormones for women in (peri)menopause, and the horrendous brain fog I’ve been dealing with for the past 18 months has lifted a great deal,” says Isabella, an ADDitude reader in the Netherlands.

“I am postmenopausal, and take estrogen replacement daily,” says Amy, an ADDitude reader in Michigan. “I think my ADHD is worse on days that I miss my dose of estrogen.”

What ADHD Experts Say

Given the known relationship between fluctuating hormones and ADHD symptoms, researchers must explore how we can safely employ HC and HRT to ameliorate both mood and cognitive symptoms.

“Given the increased risk of depression in women with ADHD, which may be further increased by oral HC use, future clinical trials on contraception need to include women with mental health problems, including ADHD, to guide prescribers on the best available choices for these women,” write the authors of the JAACP study.

“In medicine, women are still understudied because they are considered less reliable research subjects than men, due to hormonal changes during the lifespan,” explains Kooij in “Hormonal Sensitivity of Mood Symptoms in Women with ADHD Across the Lifespan.”⁸ “Women with ADHD have been even more understudied, while exactly their hormonal mood changes and increased severity of ADHD urgently need our research attention.”

“Females with ADHD are usually excluded from studies on contraceptive effectiveness and tolerability,” Skoglund explains. “As contraception is a burden for women to carry due to male methods being less effective, lack of knowledge on how different contraceptives affect women with ADHD may create an undue burden.”

Next Steps

• Contribute to research on the impact of perimenopause and menopause on ADHD symptoms by completing ADDitude’s ADHD in Menopause survey.
• Download this free resource: ‘Interventions for Treating ADHD During Perimenopause and Menopause’
• Read these new recommended reads on menopause:
  • The Menopause Brain: New Science Empowers Women to Navigate the Pivotal Transition with Knowledge and Confidence, by Lisa Mosconi, Ph.D.
  • The New Menopause: Navigating Your Path Through Hormonal Change with Purpose, Power, and Facts, by Mary Claire Haver, M.D.

HRT, Birth Control & ADHD: Related Reading

• Q: “Can Hormonal Birth Control Cause Depression?”
• Women, Hormones, and ADHD
• Depression Risk Higher for Women with ADHD on Birth Control: Study
• Menopause, Hormones & ADHD: What We Know, What Research is Needed
• Hormonal Changes & ADHD: A Lifelong Tug-of-War
• PMDD Has Affected My Whole Life
• PMS and ADHD: How the Menstrual Cycle Intensifies Symptoms

We Demand Attention: A Call for Greater Research on ADHD in Women

Intro: Top 10 Research Priorities

1. Sex Difference in ADHD
2. The Health Consequences of Delayed ADHD Diagnoses on Women
3. How Hormonal Changes Impact ADHD Symptoms in Women
4. How Perimenopause and Menopause Impact ADHD Symptoms, and Vice Versa
5. The Elevated Risk for PMDD and PPD Among Women with ADHD
6. The Safety and Efficacy of ADHD Medication Use During Pregnancy and While Nursing
7. How ADHD Medication Adjustments During the Monthly Menstrual Cycle Could Improve Outcomes for Women
8. The Long-Term and Short-Term Implications of Hormonal Birth Control and Hormone-Replacement Therapy Use Among Women with ADHD
9. How and Why Comorbid Conditions Like Anxiety, Depression, and Eating Disorders Uniquely Impact Women with ADHD
10. Early Indicators of Self-Harm, Partner Violence, and Substance Abuse Among Girls and Women with ADHD

Sources

¹ Eng, A.G., Nirjar, U., Elkins, A.R., Sizemore, Y.J., Monticello, K.N., Petersen, M.K., Miller, S.A., Barone, J., Eisenlohr-Moul, T.A., & Martel, M.M. (2024). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and the menstrual cycle: Theory and evidence. Hormones and Behavior, 158(105466). ISSN 0018-506X. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yhbeh.2023.105466

² Lundin, C., Wikman, A., Wikman, P., Kallner, H. K., Sundström-Poromaa, I., & Skoglund, C. (2023). Hormonal Contraceptive Use and Risk of Depression Among Young Women With Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 62(6), 665–674. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2022.07.847)

³ Langer, R. D., Hodis, H. N., Lobo, R. A., & Allison, M. A. (2021). Hormone replacement therapy – where are we now?. Climacteric : The Journal of the International Menopause Society, 24(1), 3–10. https://doi.org/10.1080/13697137.2020.1851183

⁴ Camara, Bettina, et al. “Relationship between sex hormones, reproductive stages and ADHD: a systematic review.” Archives of Women’s Mental Health, vol. 25, no. 1, Feb. 2022, pp. 1+. Gale OneFile: Health and Medicine

⁵ Ali SA, Begum T, Reza F. Hormonal Influences on Cognitive Function. Malays J Med Sci. 2018 Jul;25(4):31-41. doi: 10.21315/mjms2018.25.4.3. Epub 2018 Aug 30. PMID: 30914845; PMCID: PMC6422548.

⁶ Skoglund C., Kopp Kallner H.,,Skalkidou A. et al. Association of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder with teenage birth among women and girls in Sweden. JAMA Netw Open. 2019; 2e1912463 https://doi.org/10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2019.12463

⁷ Lindh I., Hognert H., Milsom I. The changing pattern of contraceptive use and pregnancies in four generations of young women. Acta Obstet Gynecol Scand. 2016; 95: 1264-1272 https://doi.org/10.1111/aogs.13003

⁸ Kooij JS. Hormonal sensitivity of mood symptoms in women with ADHD across the lifespan. Eur Psychiatry. 2023 Jul 19;66(Suppl 1):S23. doi: 10.1192/j.eurpsy.2023.92. PMCID: PMC10417850.

And if ADHD runs in that family, the jam is not only juggling family life, health, and career, but also managing executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and the complicated needs of other neurodivergent family members — diagnosed and otherwise. As “sandwiched” ADDitude readers tell us, this complex time of life is full of strain and overwhelm.

“The stress of being a mom to neurodivergent children, an employee, and a wife on top of caring for my mother seems absolutely unbearable at times. I don’t understand how others manage it all.”

“I am feeling overwhelmed with my role as a parent of an ADHD child while seeing changes in my own parents as they age.”

“My own ADHD is making it exponentially more difficult to assist my 90-year-old parents, both of whom I suspect have ADHD, as well as my three grandchildren, all diagnosed with ADHD.”

No matter the composition of your family’s sandwich, use the following strategies to reduce stress and practice self-compassion while you pull double or triple caregiving duty.

[Download This Free Parenting Guide for Caregivers with ADHD]

Sandwich Generation Strategies for ADHD Adults

1. Set boundaries.

Boundaries are tricky because they’re tangled up with cultural, personal, gender, and familial expectations. You may feel immense pressure to make others happy, even at the expense of your own happiness. Rejection sensitive dysphoria and perfectionism may amplify feelings of failure as you try to do it all. As uncomfortable as it may feel, setting boundaries is a skill you must learn and practice to prevent burnout and improve your wellbeing.

• It doesn’t have to be a hard “no.” Find alternative ways to politely decline or adjust a situation. Say, “Let me sleep on it and get back to you,” “Mom, I have to call you back after I have dinner,” “Can I take a rain check?” or “That sounds wonderful, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to help this time.” Practice declining offers in a low-pressure environment, like at a store when the cashier tries to upsell you.
• Be firm where you can be. Mute your phone or disable certain notifications. Question whether something really needs your attention now. If you work from home, consider creating color-coded signage that communicates your level of availability. Have conversations when needed about hot spots. For example, if you experience stress when your parents show up unannounced, talk to them about calling ahead or dropping by only on certain days of the week.
• Guilt will come up, but it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. You’re simply in unfamiliar territory. Be kind to yourself and know that you can feel the guilt and still choose to protect your boundaries.

 2. Know your hot spots.

Not all sandwiched caregivers feel the same squeeze. Identify your personal hot spots, such as interruptions, noise, clutter, food prep, emotional reactions, and/or transitions. Name your most nagging daily challenges — the ones that send ADHD symptoms into overdrive — and brainstorm steps to manage them.

For example, if grumpiness at the end of your workday clouds your evening mood, take 10 full, uninterrupted minutes to do a breathing exercise or a relaxing activity when your workday ends. Self-awareness alone can help mute your inner critic as you try to juggle it all.

[Read: How I Calm Down My ADHD Brain — 14 Quick De-Stressors]

Work with family members to identify and address their hot spots, too. For example, ask your teen to spend five minutes organizing a small section of their room when energy supply is high, not at the end of the day when ADHD medication has worn off.

3. Carve out time to do what helps you feel regulated.

Get serious about scheduling self-care time in your calendar. Self-care is anything that helps you feel calm and gathered, like non-negotiable buffer time between tasks and activities, a morning walk, a hearty breakfast, talking to a friend, reading or listening to an audiobook for 15 minutes, and even taking the time to make your bed (especially if clutter overwhelms you).

4. Don’t rush to problem-solve or cheerlead.

Validation — simply listening to and acknowledging how you or a family member else is feeling — usually lowers the volume on big emotions in ADHD households. Your child may feel devastated that they flunked their math test, but rather than rush to cheerlead (“Oh, I know you’ll do better next time!”) or suggest solutions like tutoring, start by saying something like, “I hear that you’re feeling disappointed right now, right? It totally makes sense that you feel this way because you studied so hard.”

 5. Use all available supports to lessen the burden.

Support comes in many forms, like asking a friend or family member to body double or help with a particular area of caregiving, leaning on a community program for adult or afterschool care, or using paid services like subscription meal kits, cleaning services, or a virtual assistant if financially feasible. As you decide which resources to utilize, remember that your time and energy are resources, too. Also, when you accept someone’s help, understand that they may not do it your way — and that’s fine.

6. What would you say to a friend?

Dual caregiving while managing your own life (and ADHD symptoms) is objectively difficult. Like other sandwiched adults, you likely aren’t giving yourself enough credit for juggling all that you do.  You may over-identify with mistakes, fixate on what you haven’t done, and think that you’re failing. You may feel as though things only get done when you beat yourself up.

When your inner critic pipes up, take a moment to practice self-compassion by asking yourself, “What would I say to a friend going through this?” Chances are that you’d never judge a friend the way that you judge yourself. Keep this question on a sticky note and place it on your mirror as a daily reminder. Remember that it’s possible to be compassionate and productive simultaneously.

7. Accept what you cannot change.

No, you did not ask to be in the middle of a complex, neurodivergent sandwich. But here you are. To guard your wellbeing, follow this credo: accept what you can’t change, change what you can, and know the difference.

You may not recognize your habit of claiming responsibility for things well outside of your control. You may feel it’s your duty to make your stubborn parents believe that ADHD exists and that it runs in your family — a common complaint I hear among sandwiched adults in neurodivergent families. Conversation after conversation, article after article, your parents may still choose to deny that your child has ADHD, that you have ADHD, or that they themselves exhibit symptoms. This is distressing, but remember that you’re doing your best and that accepting your current reality doesn’t mean that you’re siding with your parents or giving up.

When you focus on where you can make a difference and what you can relinquish, it will be much easier to disengage from energy siphons and find reasonable solutions for all the ingredients in your sandwich.

Sandwich Generation and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Guide: ADHD in Older Adults
• Self-Test: 10 Questions to Reveal Parental Burnout
• Read: When ADHD (Literally) Runs in the Family
• Read: 12 Ways to Build Strong ADHD Families

You Are Not Alone: Additional Resources

• AARP Family Caregiving
• CDC – For Caregivers, Family, and Friends
• Family Caregiver Alliance
• Working Parent Burnout Webinar (from The Ohio State University)
• ADDitude – ADHD Support Group for Parents
• ADDitude – ADHD Support Group for Adults
• CHADD – Find a local ADHD support group

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Squeezed in the Sandwich Generation: How to Manage ADHD in Yourself, Your Children, and Your Elderly Parents” [Video Replay & Podcast #490] with Danna McDonald, RMFT-SQ, RSW, which was broadcast on February 8, 2024.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

On the flip side, mothers were portrayed as multitasking heroes who kept their families and homes from falling apart. Sure, these are stereotypes, but they’re mostly grounded in real-life expectations. Women are supposed to be the tidy, organized, and dependable ones. When you need help with homework, Mom’s the first one you ask. When you can’t find something, Mom knows where it is. When you need a special cake for your birthday, Mom can make it just right.

For a woman like me who struggles with ADHD, these expectations can be painful. Daddy is the one who keeps things running around here. He’s the organized and calm one. I do a lot. But if it weren’t for him, we’d have ice cream melting in the refrigerator.

[Read: “Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood.”]

I’m fairly traditional. I worked from home with my kids for years by choice. I wanted to cook their meals from scratch, but I almost always left out a crucial ingredient. I was there every time they pulled out a new board game, but I had a hard time sitting down and reading the instructions. I took them to fun places, but it was never a stress-free event. This mama forgot water bottles, diapers, wet wipes, and validation tickets. At some point, I realized I was the Dumb Dad.

For a long time, guilt and feelings of inadequacy plagued me. Not anymore. I’m so grateful to have a husband who grounds me. And with his support, I’m learning self-love.

The Dumb Dad may be bumbling, but he’s also adored. The kids never hold his cluelessness against him because his benevolence is clear. As my kids get older, they’re learning that their mom struggles with some things. And they know that it’s perfectly okay.

I’ve stopped trying to follow recipes or fix remotes. I’m focusing on the things I do well. I’m showing my daughter with ADHD all the tips I’ve learned to make life easier. I’m teaching her about civics and history, where I thrive. I’m hyperfocusing when my children need it, whether they’ve got a mysterious rash or someone needs to convince the city to put crossing guards at the school. I’m dancing and singing to all the kids’ songs because I’m a goofball like them and I know all the words.

I’m not the most organized mom, but I love my children more than anything on this earth. And they know it.

Gender Stereotypes and ADHD: Next Steps

• Read: The Motherhood Myth Is Crushing Women with ADHD
• Read: A Self-Care Guide for Moms with ADHD Raising Kids with ADHD
• Read: 12 Hurtful, Misogynistic Comments Women with ADHD Hear
• Read: To My Kids — A Love Letter from Your Scatterbrained, Unpredictable, Truly Lucky Mom

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Many boys with ADHD struggle to cultivate and sustain in-person friendships. What is often referred to as “difficulty reading social cues” is the result of lagging social executive function skills, the set of tools we use when sharing space with others. Many boys feel ashamed of their social struggles and retreat into a virtual world of gaming that often intensifies feelings of social isolation from peers at school and in the community.

While many boys seem content to socialize through gaming and other forms of online communication, it doesn’t create the close connection made when boys spend time together and in person. In fact, research findings report higher rates of loneliness and depression among tween and teen boys today than in the past.

In this webinar, evidence-based strategies will be explained to help tween and teen boys build the social executive function skills needed to connect with peers and develop real-life friendships.

In this webinar, caregivers will learn:

• How lagging social executive function skills and social anxiety present in tween and teen boys with ADHD
• How educators can work with caregivers to help tween and teen boys struggling with social disconnectedness
• How to support boys who are resistant to help and those who solely socialize through video games

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Social Skills in Boys with ADHD: More Resources

• Get: The ADHD Guide to Making & Keeping Friends
  
• Replay: Raising Socially Smart Tweens & Teens with Ryan Wexelblatt
• Read: Understanding the Role of Anxiety in Children with ADHD
• Q&A: “My Teen Wants ‘Cool Kid’ Friends, or None at All”

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on May 28, 2024, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Ryan Wexelblatt, LCSW, ADHD-CCSP, is the founder of ADHD Dude.  A licensed clinical social worker, former school social worker, and father to a son with ADHD and learning differences, Ryan has begun to focus on supporting families of socially disconnected boys and young men through his new social media channel, The Social Reboot. ADHD Dude provides parent training for parents and guardians of kids with ADHD and in-person school year programs and summer camps. ADHD Dude is based in Arizona.

Webinar Sponsor

The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is…

Brain Balance helps kids, teens and adults with ADHD, learning differences, anxiety & more through our integrative cognitive development and brain wellness program. Our approach combines cognitive, physical and sensory training with nutritional guidance to strengthen and build brain connectivity without the use of medication. Stronger connections translate to improved attention, behaviors, and social-emotional well-being.| brainbalancecenters.com/additudemag

ADDitude thanks our sponsors for supporting our webinars. Sponsorship has no influence on speaker selection or webinar content.

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