“Procrasti-cleaning” is most appealing when I’m faced with a project that isn’t clear-cut. Cleaning feels like a comparatively easy win. If I spend five minutes tidying up my desk, it will look visibly improved. Five minutes of writing, however, doesn’t always leave me feeling like I’ve made any progress.

Having an easily distracted brain doesn’t help. As someone with ADHD, I spend a lot of my day modulating my attention. I notice, and then subsequently choose to ignore, many potential distractions. These distractions come from within (e.g., the spark of new ideas, recalling items on my to-do list) and elsewhere (e.g., stray socks on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink).

[Read: Why the ADHD Brain Chooses the Less Important Task]

It takes a lot of energy to keep focused on a task that doesn’t excite me. I can feel my thoughts ping-ponging, bouncing around the walls of my head. My mind desperately seeks anything – even cleaning – on which to latch.

Giving in to procrastination, even if it’s in the form of something productive like cleaning, doesn’t usually feel good. But one day – when facing another complex project that I dreaded – I asked myself, what if I give into my impulse to escape, but for a limited period?

I set a timer for 10 minutes and went on a cleaning and organizing spree. I let myself go wherever I felt, addressing anything that triggered me: a napkin that had fallen on the floor, laundry that needed to be put away, unpaid bills, texts that needed to be sent.

After the timer rang, I got to work on some writing. I felt noticeably calmer and focused because my space was tidier and less distracting. And having a small win from cleaning gave me the dopamine boost I needed to sit down for less linear work.

[Read: Stop Dodging That Dreaded Task! 9 Ways to Halt Avoidance Procrastination]

I now follow this practice regularly, especially after dropping off my youngest at preschool, when I have a couple hours to get some higher-level work done. Starting off my free time with puttering allows me to clear my mind and space first, which inevitably makes the rest of my time more productive.

Another benefit to The 10-Minute Putter? It feels a bit like unmasking. A lot of us with ADHD (women, especially) have learned to mask our stereotypically ADHD characteristics because they make us seem less responsible, intelligent, or successful. When I putter, I get to operate however I want, without the usual confines to which I restrict myself.

The next time you have a daunting project or a moment in which you don’t know where or how to start, I invite you to pull out a timer and putter (or procrasti-clean) for 10 minutes. I hope it helps you unleash more momentum, focus, and creativity in your work and life.

Productive Procrastination and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: How to Stimulate Your ADHD Brain When Dopamine Dips
• Read: When Procrastination Is OK
• Read: How to Set Intentions to Crush Procrastination

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One of the greatest gifts, and challenges, of this life stage is the freedom to explore and choose — in personal and professional realms. This is liberating, but if you’re a young adult with executive functioning deficits, dealing with housing, roommates, work, and relationship issues can be stressful.

Advice for Young Adults with ADHD

Follow these six rules for transitioning to independent living:

1. Pay your bills on time. Set up bill-pay reminders or automatic payments. Use a budget app to track how you spend money. Shop with cash only to limit impulsive purchases. Understand credit card terms and the importance of a good credit score. If you need help making a budget, ask experienced friends, your parents, or other caring adults.

2. Show up when you are expected. Give yourself more time than you think you’ll need (or even plan to arrive early). Use analog clocks, watches, and timers to manage time effectively. Use calendars to remind yourself of events and responsibilities.

3. Set routines. Create habits and schedules to support your health. Exercise regularly to improve ADHD symptoms, memory, and mood; eat a balanced diet; and stick to a regular sleep schedule.

[Get This Free Download: Get Control of Your Life and Schedule]

4. Notice your emotional triggers. Whether it’s a stomach knot or sweaty palms, pay attention to signals that indicate strong emotions before they escalate. In a calm moment, make a list of soothing activities to help you reset. Breathing techniques, stepping outside, or going to the bathroom to splash water on your face are a few ideas.

5. Learn to communicate effectively. Conflict happens. In tense conversations with friends, housemates, and colleagues, it’s important to communicate without blame and to listen without judgment. When your housemates are up until 2 a.m. on a work night, drinking and gaming loudly in the living room, rushing out of your bedroom to yell at them won’t help. You could ask them nicely to lower the volume or ask for a meeting the next day to express your frustrations using this formula: “I feel __________ when you __________ because __________ .” The goal is to reach a good compromise.

6. Be smart about dating. After you’ve connected with someone (online, at a party, or elsewhere), meet them at a public place you already know. Tell friends where you are going and with whom. Despite your ADHD go-with-the-flow impulses, don’t go home with them or bring them to your home right away. Give yourself time to evaluate this person, and let your friends meet them, too.

Advice for Parents of Young Adults

When decision-making moves from parents to adult children, the road turns rocky in new ways. The dilemma for many parents of young people with ADHD is this: When should I express my concerns about their choices or risky behaviors?

Parental authority and influence decrease dramatically as our children age. By the time they reach their 20s, a parent can only say and do so much. Then it’s time to let go.

[Read: ADHD Independence-Building Strategies for Parents]

Here are a few ideas to help parents foster connection and independence:

• Listen with genuine curiosity. Acknowledge what you hear. Before you respond, reflect on what you are going to say. Are you about to tell them what to do? If so, how can you reframe your suggestion as a question?
• Pick your battles. Agree on your role in giving reminders, for example, and the circumstances under which you will say nothing. Separate your anxiety from theirs. Wait 24 hours to process an upsetting issue so everybody cools down enough to have a conversation.
• Trust your kids. What did you want most from your parents? I wanted my parents to stop asking questions about how I was going to use my college degree and to trust the process of my explorations. Your kids will figure it out, ultimately, just as you did.

Watch for Warning Signs

You want to respect your adult child’s space, but you also want to be able to identify concerning behaviors or situations when they appear. Here are red flags that may signal trouble ahead:

• Substance use: Young adults with ADHD face an increased risk for substance abuse. Promptly address any signs of substance misuse, such as appearing impaired, experiencing problems meeting obligations at work or at school, or withdrawing from important activities.
• Anxiety at work: Watch for signs of workplace stress, and help your child brainstorm coping mechanisms. Maintain open communication about your young adult’s occupational challenges, including job stability and performance.
• Career planning: Is your college student exploring suitable career paths with access to accommodations? Ask about exploratory conversations with educators and career counselors.
• ADHD treatment: Do missed appointments or lost items suggest that your child is not consistently managing their ADHD medication? Encourage them to maintain steady treatment and secure support through therapy and academic or occupational accommodations.

Embracing Independence with ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Securing ADHD Accommodations in College
• Read: Enabling vs. Supporting – Helping ADHD Kids Be Independent
• Read: 5 Life Skills Every Young Adult with ADHD Should (Eventually) Master

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It’s been a year of new chapters for Jessica McCabe, the creator, writer, and star of the popular YouTube channel “How to ADHD.” In January, she published her first book, How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It) (#CommissionsEarned), which quickly became a New York Times bestseller. And in March, she became a new mom.

McCabe has been called the fairy godmother of ADHD by the iconic Ned Hallowell, M.D. “The world has been waiting for this book,” he says of her debut work.

ADDitude had a candid conversation with McCabe just weeks before she gave birth. We talked about her experience and dedication to writing her book.

The Writing of “How to ADHD”

ADDitude: Jessica, I found your book to be incredibly thorough, helpful, and empowering. You synthesized the most important research and insights on ADHD, while also living with the executive function challenges that you were writing about. How did you do it?

Jessica: It was my dream to write and finish this book. I am not somebody who finishes long-term projects. I dropped out of community college. I dropped out of massage school. I got distracted from, quit, or was fired from a ton of jobs.

[Watch ADDitude’s Webinar with Jessica McCabe: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your ADHD Brain]

This is the first time I intentionally entered and completed a long-term project. It helped a lot that I already knew this information because I’d been learning about how my brain worked and where my challenges lay, and the strategies to support them.

ADDitude: What strategies did you use to manage this project?

Jessica: It was supposed to take me a year to write this book, but the first strategy I tried did not work at all. I asked the publisher in a meeting if I could get extra time because I knew I was going to need it. I got a lot of blank stares.

My next strategy was one of my favorites: working backward. I plugged in everything I needed to do over the course of the year. I also know that I tend to hyperfocus, so I gave myself four weeks during that year to just not work on the book or the YouTube channel, so that I wouldn’t die. I was like, “I don’t know what will happen if I hyperfocus on a project for a full year, but I’m pretty sure it’s not healthy. So let me give myself breaks.”

I also built in accountability. I told my editor, “I need you to be looking at each chapter as we go.” So I met with her regularly, and that accountability helped a lot.

I was still a few months late on the final project. But I just stayed in communication with my editor, letting her know, “I’m going to be a little bit late on this,” or “I need more time to edit that.” And she was really good about working with me and also letting me know, “We can’t give you any more extensions. We need this to be done at this point.”

There was a lot of communication, accountability, and planning ahead. I’m still in shock that it got done.

[Read: Everyday ADHD — Quirky Productivity Hacks for Easily Bored Brains]

ADDitude: You have a whole chapter on hyperfocus. Can you tell us more about the breakthroughs and exhaustion that came from this common ADHD trait?

Jessica: There’s a lot in my life that I would not have accomplished if it were not for hyperfocus. I do see it as a potential strength. But it can also be a problem because we can neglect our needs. I try to set up my environment or my time in such a way that I can slip into hyperfocus and take advantage of that really deep flow, but at the same time, put guardrails around it so that I don’t do permanent damage to myself. We know that a lot of people with ADHD end up with chronic pain and fibromyalgia [due to] neglecting our self-care, and part of that is because of hyper focus.

ADDitude: You wrote in the book that, when you started creating your How to ADHD videos, your plan was to research the condition so you could learn how to overcome your own ADHD struggles and become the person you were supposed to be. But by the end of your book, you land in a really different place. Can you tell us about that journey?

Jessica: At first, I thought, I can still have all these neurotypical goals and have this neurotypical life and have a clean house and a clean car and keep in touch with friends. I just have to do it in a way that’s ADHD-friendly. I was willing to accept that if my brain works differently, I might have to do things differently. But I wasn’t yet willing to accept the limits of using tools and strategies. No matter how many tools you have, the challenges are still there.

I still don’t have a clean car. I finally realized I need a housekeeper. I came to a place of acceptance, and it helped.

How to ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Your ADHD Dopamine Menu Template
• Read: Get More Done with a Body Double
• Read: 8 Rules of Wellbeing — An Aid Kit for Women with ADHD
• Read: “I Don’t Need to Be Fixed!” Epiphanies of Self-Acceptance from Adults with ADHD
• Find: ADHD Specialists and Clinics Near You

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#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Earning my doctoral degree was no easy feat. From navigating social interactions and managing sensory sensitivities to coping with a learning disability, every step felt like a battle against the odds. I came face-to-face many times with imposter syndrome, intrusive thoughts, and task paralysis.

But with unwavering support from mentors and peers – along with my own inner strength and a desire to make a change – this journey ultimately become one of triumph, resilience, and unrelenting advocacy.

[Read: “Could I Be Autistic, Too?” Signs of Autism in Women with ADHD]

A Novel Tool to Improve Workplace Inclusivity

During my Ph.D. research, I became acutely aware of the lack of understanding and support for individuals with invisible disabilities in the workplace and its consequences. Too often, stigma and stereotypes prevent talented individuals from reaching their full potential, leaving them feeling marginalized and misunderstood instead.

Determined to address this issue, I developed a tool for employers called the Workplace Invisible Disability Experience (WIDE) survey. This survey aims to assess the experiences of employees with invisible disabilities in the workplace by shedding light on the challenges they face and identifying areas for improvement. By collecting data and raising awareness, the WIDE survey empowers organizations to recognize and address the barriers that prevent a thriving and inclusive environment.

Advocacy’s Many Forms

Advocacy is not just about raising awareness; it’s also about action. That’s why I took the initiative to establish a disability ERG (Employee Resource Group) in my workplace. This group serves as a platform for disabled employees to come together, share their experiences, and advocate for positive change. Through awareness campaigns, training sessions, and policy initiatives, our ERG works to create more inclusive and accommodating workplaces for all.

Education is another crucial aspect of advocacy, which is why I am committed to continuing to educate and inform others about invisible disabilities. Through speaking engagements, workshops, and training sessions, I aim to dispel myths, challenge stereotypes, and promote a culture of acceptance and understanding.

[Read: How I’m Improving the Workplace for Adults with Autism]

I am most excited to be a speaker at AutisticaPalooza, a multi-day conference that delves into a diverse range of topics by and for autistic women. By sharing my own experiences and insights, I hope to inspire others to embrace neurodiversity and work toward a more inclusive future.

A Transformative Journey

Completing my Ph.D. was just the beginning of my transformative journey of self-discovery, resilience, and empowerment. As I continue to advocate for change, I am driven by a vision of a world where individuals with invisible disabilities are valued, respected, and empowered to reach their full potential. I am confident that together, we can create a more inclusive and equitable world for all.

Autism Advocacy: Next Steps

• Free eBook: The Guide to Autism in Adults
• Read: An Open Conversation with Temple Grandin
• Read: ADHD and Adult Autism – Symptoms, Diagnosis & Interventions for Both
• Read: “A Living Contradiction” Stories of the AuDHD Experience

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Distance runners anticipate difficulties and know to support themselves in any way possible to get to the finish line. It’s a given – they don’t think twice about it and don’t get hung up on it, either.

In our daily lives, especially as folks with ADHD, we fall into the trap of thinking we don’t need help, or that we’re wimpy if we accept help or create supportive structures for ourselves. Others don’t need this, we think.

Here’s that flawed logic applied to running: Why does the newbie runner need to stop and rest every half mile? The ultrarunner can go many miles before needing to stop. Therefore, the newbie must be a wimp, or worse, incapable.

A non-runner might assume this of a newbie, but ultrarunners know this couldn’t be farther from the truth. An early runner has needs, just as a later-stage runner does. Needs are needs.

[Read: Silence Your Harshest Critic — Yourself]

Once five miles becomes easy-peasy for the early runner, they realize they only arrived at that point because they gave themselves what they needed to be someone who can run five miles. With that experience, they’ll readily tell the next newbie runner to make sure to stop and rest the legs and heart every half mile. It’s the only way to get to five miles.

Needs are Needs: When Ultrarunning Meets Real Life

This logic – of supporting our needs to become who we want to be – applies to anything and everything. If we accept a tutor to help us, then eventually we’ll be someone who got through a class instead of one who didn’t. If we fully show up to therapy or coaching, then we eventually become someone who tackles the challenges in front of us instead of skirting them. If we externalize the content of our brains with systems, we become someone who forgets less rather than someone who continues to forget.

Guess who all these early-stage self-supporters become? People who make inroads into becoming the kind of person who has wins, and those wins beget more wins. The more support, the more wins.

I got to the point in my abilities as a runner that I would have said yes, without a second thought, if you asked me to run a 50-miler the following weekend.

When you read the prior sentence, did you picture me as someone who was so trained that I needed a lot less than an early-stage runner? I’ll let you in on a secret: I was a running diva. I had far more available at hand than an early-stage runner could imagine was possible. The more experienced I got, the more I learned how much support was out there to take for myself — and I took it.

[Read: My 25 Rules for Life — a Practical Cure for ADHD Shame and Stagnation]

I say this all the time to people: Do you think successful people have more support or less? They have far more, and it’s because they’re more likely to ask for it and give it to themselves.

Why would it be any different for us when the road to success means we’ll need to support our ADHD and account for our needs?

It wouldn’t.

The Long Haul with ADHD

Remembering to hand in work, showing up on time at work, getting out of a rabbit hole, staying on task, organizing our workspace, regulating our emotions — these are our daily five-mile runs.

Graduating from school, nabbing a promotion at work, becoming an accomplished person, becoming a person who has practiced options for staying calm in stressful situations — these are our long-distance runs.

The only way to become a champion — in anything — is to give ourselves what we need to push through. As you run your own race, take any and all support without question, without apology. That’s a champion mindset.

ADHD Life Lessons: Next Steps

• Read: 20 Rules to Live By — My ADHD Life Guide
• Read: Sports Psychology Tricks That Work for ADHD Brains
• Read: Your Strengths Inventory — Repairing Self-Esteem After an ADHD Diagnosis

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

In my field of work, I see injustices often. My hyper-empathy and strong sense of justice drew me to this field, an area that gave me just the right amount of dopamine to help me manage well enough for many years – until things became really difficult and the stress and sadness mounted. I knew that my neurodivergent brain was making everything feel much more intense, but I wasn’t sure how to pull it all back.

One afternoon at home, burnt out, I knew I absolutely needed to clean my home despite a distinct lack of energy. I thought music would help, but this time, rather than put on Stevie Nicks, I selected a playlist at random and tried to power on. After a short time, I found myself dancing to the post punk rhythms of Siouxsie and the Banshees. My energy levels were up, and I suddenly gained the ability to do all the mundane demands I hadn’t been able to tackle for weeks.

Stumbling Into Punk Rock: A New Special Interest

I fell down a rabbit hole searching for more music that I thought might have the same effect. Cue my discovery of Riot Grrrl, grunge bands created by women, and feminist hardcore punk. In an instant, my world (and ears) became full of early ’90s bands like Babes in Toyland and Bikini Kill to more recent groups like War on Women, Lambrini Girls, and others with names too explicit to share.

Bands made up of women who fight for their voices to be heard, stay true to themselves, and don’t seem to care if they’re disliked? I had entered in to special-interest territory. I became absorbed in learning about the music, the women, and the culture they were promoting. At a time when I felt isolated and insecure and like I was losing a big part of my identity through my troubles at work, this music brought me joy and validation. It filled me with energy that I hadn’t felt for a long time and listening to it became the best and most important part of my day.

[Read: 13 Productivity Playlists to Center and Focus ADHD Brains]

Aside from the physical release of endless dancing, I found that the louder the music and vocals, the happier and calmer I felt. Any stress I was feeling reduced, and overwhelming thoughts about my inability to do something turned into figuring out how I could.

I decided to experiment with listening to something much louder. Inspired by the death and thrash metal gigs I attended in my early 20s, I found myself – now more than 10 years later – on my way, alone, to see a few hardcore punk bands at a DIY venue 50 miles away. I’d never been to a gig by myself, let alone one like this, and it gave me a buzz that ADHD just loves to pull me toward.

The evening of the gig, as I stood in the middle of the crowd and listened to the thrashing music, I experienced something I’d never experienced before: a quiet mind with no thoughts in my head. Peace. My mind was blown. Literally.

The Soothing Sounds of Hardcore Punk

I spent the next few months tracking the effects of this music on my feelings and behaviors and was amazed by the results. I found that I didn’t need as much sleep and was able to be active late into the night. I wasn’t as drawn to sugar and carbs. Overstimulation after a long day in the office was easier to tolerate, and moments of excruciating under-stimulation were few and far between. My ability to tolerate perceived rejection and criticism grew significantly. This music, it was clear, was making everything so enjoyable.

[Read: Music Therapy – Sound Medicine for ADHD]

This was not a life I was used to. It was something I had only experienced in short bursts. But here was punk music, my new special interest, giving me all the dopamine I needed to thrive. It was helping me behave in ways that were right for me, rather than being influenced by my barriers and my fears.

How do I use my special interest now to get the results I need? When I need a quick surge of chemicals to get me moving after waking up, Babes in Toyland’s Bluebell works every time. When I need to sleep, I’ll blast my thoughts away with Petrol Girls. When I’m feeling anxious or fearful at work and need to be brave, Double Dare Ya by Bikini Kill transforms my attitude and reminds me of my values. For those moments when I desperately need inner calm, I find it – in a raging hardcore gig.

AuDHD and Music: Next Steps

• Free eBook: The Truth About Autism in Adults
• Read: Does Music Focus Your ADHD Brain? Or Just Distract It?
• Read:Your ADHD Brain (Probably) Loves Brown Noise
• Read: How I Calm Down My ADHD Brain – 14 Quick De-Stressors

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Do you fall into traps of procrastivity? With this type of procrastination, priority tasks are avoided by engaging in other tasks that are productive and necessary, but which end up being self-defeating because they steal your time and undermine your prioritized plans. This is why many adults with ADHD say they are busy all day but do not feel productive.

Procrastivity is exhausting, but it can teach us many useful lessons to help increase initiation and follow-through on tasks. The lessons learned from analyzing your procrastivity point the way to a foundation of cognitive behavior therapy strategies that emphasize implementation of various coping skills that help you to turn your intentions into actions.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• What “procrastivity” is and how it sneaks into your life
• A proposal for the central cognitive theme in the mindsets of adults with ADHD
• At least one implementation-focused strategy to use in your life (and many more, we hope)

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Procrastivity and ADHD: More Resources

• Download: The ADHD Healthy Habits Handbook
• Replay: How CBT and ADHD Coaching Help Adults Manage Their Symptoms Naturally with Dr. Russell Ramsay
• Self-Test: How Seriously Do You Procrastinate?
• Read: Why the ADHD Brain Chooses the Less Important Task

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on April 18, 2024, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker

Russell Ramsay is retired from his role as professor of clinical psychology in the psychiatry department of the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania. He had been co-founder and co-director of the PENN’s Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program. He currently has a solo, completely virtual psychology practice.

Dr. Ramsay has authored numerous professional and scientific articles and book chapters. Among his books, he is author of the patient guidebook The Adult ADHD Tool Kit (with Dr. Anthony Rostain; Routledge, 2015), which has been translated into French, Spanish, Korean, and is in the process of being translated into German and Chinese. His most recent book was Rethinking Adult ADHD (APA, 2020). (#CommissionsEarned) His forthcoming book is The Adult ADHD & Anxiety Workbook, to be released on May 1, 2024 (New Harbinger). Dr. Ramsay contributed to the APA’s Psychotherapy Video Series with the video “Adults with ADHD.”

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Listener Testimonials

“Great research and great examples to explain. Clearly and helpfully presented! Everyone talks about ‘distraction’ but this explained the reasons to my biggest ADHD problem.”

“This is my first ADDitude webinar, and it’s absolutely spot on. I’m so glad I finally found you.”

“I learned SO much about me!”

Webinar Sponsor

The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is….

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Or I was.

I used to be late for practically everything. And take it from the Queen: Being late stinks. It’s a self-sabotaging act that gave me decades of anguish, hurt, and frustration. I knew the heartache of lateness like I knew the jewels on my crown. I’d have given anything not to wear that crown, to be a commoner who — gasp — gets to appointments a few minutes early.

Following is the story of how I changed my lifelong habit of lateness practically overnight. No, this is not a clickbait story. It’s the sharing of fundamental tools that us late and time-blind folk don’t realize are out there. It’s my “eureka” story.

Step One: Time Yourself

My lateness was “cured” in 2007 at the start of the recession. My job as a tech recruiter was on shaky ground, so I pivoted and started a cleaning and residential organizing company. My sweet cousin recommended my services to her friends, who hired me. With my company and reputation now connected to my friend and family circle, I had to avoid failure at all costs. Lateness threatened it all, which meant I had to find a solution.

How was the Queen of Lateness supposed to undo a lifelong habit? I started with the only thing I could think of — measuring time itself. Rather than assume how long it took me to do something, I actually tracked myself. If you’ve never done this, I can tell you the results will shock you. It shocked me to learn that grabbing coffee, putting on my jacket, walking to the car, setting up my GPS, and backing out of my driveway took 10 minutes, not zero minutes, which is the time I always allotted.

[Get This Free Download: Get There On Time, Every Time]

This is what got me to realize why time was such a mystery to me and other folks with ADHD. Though the clock is always ticking, we don’t often account for the little, almost automatic tasks — picking out an outfit, looking over notes before a meeting, making a quick lunch – that undoubtedly use up time. Ten minutes to get out of the house may sound like small peanuts, but when you add up all the other unaccounted-for tasks through your day, that time significantly adds up.

Time yourself and you’ll see that it takes longer than “half an hour” to go from waking up to getting out the door. Google Maps can give you a good estimate of how long it takes to get from Point A to Point B, but it can’t tell you how long it takes to park, pay the meter, walk to your destination, and get inside the building. Trust me on that one.

Step Two: Accept the Numbers

This discovery, which had been hiding in plain sight all this time, shattered my world of lateness and gave me the key to a world where punctuality was possible.

But there was one last door to unlock before I truly internalized punctuality. Though I now had proof of how long tasks really took, it somehow wasn’t enough to change my ways. I had to become willing to drop my prior assumptions and adjust to reality. I had to accept that most things will take longer than I think (or hope). I had to go from an expert bargainer with time to one who submits to it.

[Read: “Why Am I Terrible – and Oddly Inconsistent – with Time Estimation?”]

At first, I protested when my time estimations, freshly calibrated, told me it would take two hours to do something I assumed I could do in one hour. But that skepticism was replaced with joy when I did what time told me to – and I was early. I became the newly crowned Queen of Punctuality. Guess what this did for my reputation and my serenity? Guess what it did for my self-concept?

I’d love for you to see what this new life feels like. When you do, you will bow to me and thank me until the end of time, which is further away than you might think.

Be on Time: Next Steps

• Free Download: Keep Track of Your Time
• Read: How ADHD Warps Time Perception
• Read: On Time Blindness and My ADHD Brain

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As coaches and therapists, we are well acquainted with clients like Kevin. At first, we show empathy for his struggle, stay positive, and problem-solve. Each week brings similar tales and we feel stuck. “Am I enabling Kevin?” we wonder. “Is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear? Why is he seeking help if he doesn’t want to take control of his life?”

Why ADHD Brains Struggle to Overcome Procrastination

Kevin’s intentions are likely genuine. He seems enthusiastic about a plan and expresses confidence that he will follow through. It’s his ADHD that has other plans. His brain’s altered rewards-processing system makes the task of turning intention into action a Mount Everest-sized challenge.

[Get This Free Guide: How to Build a Dopamine Menu to Stimulate Your Brain]

When most people feel unmotivated, they call on their executive functions to override the dread of getting started. They use their working memory to hold a goal in mind and recruit willpower to pursue it. They use inhibitory control to resist temptations and stay on task. But Kevin faces a double whammy from his altered rewards processing coupled with weaker executive functions. His attempts to follow through can feel like he is fighting his brain.

To help clients with ADHD get the most out of therapy, our research team at the University of Washington investigates provider strategies to enhance follow-through and created a roadmap for coaches and therapists.

Helping a client cultivate follow-through can be a slow process. Building one small success upon another, over time, can empower clients toward personal growth.

Stop Procrastinating: An Action Roadmap for ADHD Brains

During a Therapy or Coaching Session

• Devote at least 10 minutes to building plans that include details on how, when, and where actions will be taken to implement intentions. Gauge the client’s confidence in following through on intentions and adjust the plan as needed until confidence improves.
• Discuss possible barriers with the client and ask what they will do before they face each obstacle. For example, “What if you go to buy a calendar and the store is out of stock?”
• Put choices into the plan that will build enthusiasm and buy-in. Say, for example, “Will you do this at your desk or at a coffee shop?”
• Explore the outcomes and consequences of following through versus not. “What will it be like to complete your intentions? What will happen if your goals are not realized?”

[Read: How to Set Intentions to Crush Procrastination]

In the Next Session

• Help the client reflect on their attempts at follow-through. Some providers gloss over successes because they do not require problem-solving. Time spent discussing successes is an investment toward future follow-through.
• Reinforce all positive steps, even when follow-through was limited. Did the client complete a task one day out of seven? Celebrate that rather than dwell on what went wrong. Review each aspect of the plan in slow motion to increase the time spent discussing successes.
• Link positive steps to habit formation. Ask the client how they might continue with their new behavior long-term.
• Reframe failures as learning opportunities. Instead of rehashing barriers, ask clients how they wish to move forward. Say, “What will it take for you to be 10 percent more successful next week?” Refrain from giving suggestions except as a last resort. Encourage the client to come up with their own solutions.
• Revisit priorities when follow-through is tough. Are they different than initially thought? Perhaps perfection is not as important as meeting deadlines. Is insisting on one’s way not worth conflicts with others?

Stop Procrastinating: Next Steps

• Free Download: Finish Your To-Do List TODAY
• Take This Quiz: How Seriously Do You Procrastinate?
• Read: Why Do I Procrastinate? ADHD Excuses — and Solutions

Maggie Sibley, Ph.D., is a psychologist and researcher at the University of Washington School of Medicine.

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Once I left my tiny hometown and moved to the city, I found myself gravitating toward comedy clubs. I very quickly began performing, oftentimes impromptu style, and, less than a year later, I was signed on to a local, all-female comedy show.

I’ve never considered my ADHD brain to be a hindrance in the comedy world. If anything, it’s more like a secret weapon that gives me the upper hand on stage, that magical place where bouncing, bubbling, free-thinking maniacs like us take charge and absolutely shine.

How to Do Stand-Up Comedy with ADHD: Quick Thinking to the Test

The pressure of performing to hundreds of scrutinizing ears under bright lights is not for the faint of heart. Anything can happen. Yes, anything, like forgetting your own jokes, scrambling up lines, dealing with hecklers, doing some crowd work, and stumbling onto topics that weren’t part of the set at all, which often happens for me.

While a large part of stand-up comedy is rehearsing – practicing a set over and over until you’re well-versed enough to deliver your lines, completely memorized (but not showing it) and at just the right timing – rolling with the punches is where your mastery in this craft comes through. Because, as a performer, there are no second chances; you must always be ready to roll with the punches of a one-time-take during a live set.

[Read: LOL! Humor Therapy for ADHD]

Somehow, every time I’m on stage, I manage to fool the audience into thinking that I have my crap together. (Joke’s on them!) How do I do it? With the help of a bulleted list that I keep on stage and occasionally glance at while performing. If I’ve forgotten a joke or scrambled up my lines, potentially disrupting the flow and organization of my set, I look at the next bullet point and find a way, on the spot, to connect the random topic I’ve stumbled upon to the next joke. The list also helps me smoothly skip to the next bit in my set if a joke doesn’t seem to land with the crowd.

It’s in these moments that my ADHD brain actually works best. When I allow myself to shift around freely and think quickly on my feet, my sets tend to feel more authentic, lucid, fluid, and complete.

It’s a big reason I enjoy crowd work. There’s a new crowd to weave through every time, meaning endless possibilities for teasing. Shall I focus on the size of an audience member’s shoes? On the choice of words they used to answer my question? On their unfortunate choice to wear a scarf during the summer or shorts during the winter? Or should I jump through all these choices?

And how about those hecklers? I try my hardest not to “punch-down” as a comedian, but, hey, no one’s perfect! The best thing to do in this scenario is to keep the show light and quickly find a distraction that will satiate the heckler until security can escort them out. No problem for me!

[Read: ADHD Humor Is My Gift and My Curse]

Getting the Last Laugh

Perhaps another reason I gravitate toward a live audience is because performing offers the opportunity to express who I really am and to be truly seen. Sometimes I even feel more like myself when I am presenting or performing on the stage. Because it’s where my brain, funny enough, is free to behave in a way that isn’t always appreciated away from the spotlight.

Stand-Up Comedy and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: The Funny Side of Living with ADHD
• Read: How to Recognize Everyday Humor
• Read: “Are You Not Entertained?”

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

WEBINAR WITH JESSICA MCCABE
Register for ADDitude’s free webinar on February 13 with Jessica McCabe titled, “How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your ADHD Brain (Not Against It!)”

ADHD brains have lower-than-average levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that regulates the body’s pleasure and reward systems. As a result, dopamine-increasing behaviors are even more gratifying to ADHD brains. However, many of our go-to behaviors (e.g., grabbing our phones for a ‘quick’ doom scroll, eating a cookie, playing a video game, etc.) aren’t always helpful.

“Unfortunately, the quick and easy sources of dopamine we tend to turn to often aren’t enough to satisfy that need. Or we hit the pleasure button on the same activity so many times, it stops being as fun,” says Jessica McCabe, the creator and host of How to ADHD, a popular YouTube series, and author of How to ADHD.

When dopamine is dipping, how can you resist the impulse to scroll it back up?  The solution is to separate the planning from the choosing with a dopamine menu or ‘dopamenu’ — a curated list of options that lightens the mental load of finding pleasurable, healthy activities to stimulate us when we need it most.

To design your own dopamine menu, brainstorm a list of activities that typically boost your mood without inducing a hangover of regret or RSD. Then, slot the items into the appropriate menu categories in using the dopamine menu template.

This downloadable template includes:

• Dopamine menu categories
• Category examples to get you started
• Tips for building a customizable dopamine menu
• And more!

This isn’t because of a lack of commitment or desire but a difference in how our brains work. Setting goals that work for ADHD brains requires understanding, self-acceptance, and reasonable expectations. Here are a few tips on extending that New Year momentum.

How to Set Goals and Achieve Them with ADHD

1. Set Goals Aligned with Your Values

Before diving head-first into goal setting, consider what’s important to you. By starting with what truly matters, you’ll select more meaningful goals, increasing the likelihood of following through with them even when your momentum wanes. Reflect on your values through journaling or explore lists of common ones, like Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead List of Values.

2. Reflect on Feelings or Themes You Want to Experience

Instead of focusing on specific tangible goals, determine the desired emotions or themes you want to feel, such as ‘rested,’ ‘inspired, ‘creative,’ or ‘balanced.’

3. Swap Outcome-Oriented Goals for Process-Oriented Goals

We can feel frustrated and discouraged when we set — but don’t achieve — goals (even if it is due to factors out of our control). For example, if you set a goal to lose 20 pounds and only lose 10 pounds, yet you show up to the gym consistently and eat healthy, you still end up ‘failing.’ Instead, set goals around improving a skill or engaging in an activity regularly rather than a specific outcome.

[Sign Up: Free Re-Start Class from ADDitude]

4. Set Seasonal Goals

Year-long goals can quickly sputter and stall for adults with ADHD who crave immediate rewards. Setting seasonal or quarterly goals keeps the end in sight, allowing you the flexibility to change your goals as priorities shift throughout the year. It also forces you to reflect on your progress more frequently.

5. Visualize and Keep Goals Visible

If you’re anything like me, you forget your goals pretty quickly. Creating a visual or auditory reminder can be a powerful motivator to keep goals fresh in your mind. I like to make a digital vision board with images, quotes, and items representing my values and goals for the year. Place these visuals around your room, in your wallet, or as your phone’s background. Here are some of my favorite vision board templates from Canva.

6. Create a Resiliency Plan

Take some time to jot down ideas on potential obstacles that may pop up and strategies for getting back on track. Coming up with a plan when you’re calm and in a good headspace is far easier than when chaos or stress ensues.

7. Include the ‘Baby Steps’

Nobody runs without learning to walk, and nobody walks without crawling first. For each goal you set, write down an alternative ‘baby step.’ For example, if your goal is 30 minutes on the treadmill daily, the ‘baby step’ could be putting on your workout clothes each day or going to the gym. This approach ensures you keep moving forward, even in small ways.

[Free Download: The ADHD Healthy Habits Handbook]

8. Add Accountability

Incorporate accountability into your goal-setting plan from the start. Find a check-in buddy or a partner for activities like going to the gym and regularly get in touch with them.

9. Challenge Your ADHD Brain

We know that ADHD brains get bored quickly. Set mini-goals or try new activities to keep your interest piqued and cater to your need for novelty. For example, learn to do a handstand, hike every two-mile path in your city, or teach yourself how to Samba.

10. Stay Flexible and Kind

Above all, remember that the goal is to live your best life, not to achieve maximum productivity. Be gentle with yourself and allow for flexibility in your plans.

Understanding and working with our unique brains is key to maintaining the New Year momentum. We can make consistent progress toward our goals by focusing on our values, embracing flexibility, and celebrating small victories. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress, self-acceptance, and finding joy in the journey. Here’s to a year of growth, self-discovery, and sustained motivation!

How to Set Goals: Next Steps

• Free New Year Calendar: Set Goals. Celebrate Growth
• Try: 4 Sports-Inspired Steps to Achieving Your Goals
• Read: How to Get Things Done Without Getting Bogged Down

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Before I start my climb up the mountain, I stand at the base and squint up to the tippy top. If I can just make it up there by the end of the day, I’ll win. I say this every day, but I’ve almost never gotten to the top of that mountain. I’ve rarely won.

Why? Is it because I’m an amateur mountain climber? Are we talking El Capitan here? What’s the deal?

The deal is that my to-do lists — whether for today, this year, or my life — don’t always reflect what I can do or what I want to do. I would need five of me to clear off my typical daily to-do list. My to-do list for life reads more like what five different versions of me want for my life, not just the single living, breathing me.

Why My To-Do Lists Go Awry

Sometimes, I lack clarity on what I truly need or want to do — the world, after all, is a big mountain of endless options. Other times, I’m cognitively inflexible and can’t switch gears when life asks me to, so I miss out on the optimal trail. I’m left with a lengthier trek and a bigger mountain. Still other times it’s perfectionism that comes through, enabling my mountain to grow. Finally, my old friend Time Blindness comes for a visit (actually, she lives with me permanently, because that’s ADHD) and suddenly my current task stretches like the Appalachian Mountain range.

[Get This Free Download: Finish Your To-Do List TODAY]

It’s all so much fun.

Just kidding. It’s cold on my mountain, and lonely, especially when the trek involves fretting, scrambling, forgetting, rushing, and rarely arriving at satisfaction.

How to Shrink To-Do Mountains

So, what are my options? Am I destined to be stuck climbing interminable mountains forever?

I am not. I have the option to be a curator of my time, effort, and intentions.

[Read: The Power of a Well-Crafted To-Do List]

You’re thinking, “That’s easier said than done!”

Trust me, I get you. But I’ve found that noticing what’s going on in me in the moment is the first step to whittling down my mountain to the approachable, achievable, well-suited hill that makes my life happier and calmer.

Each day, when I wake up to face what appears to be Mt. Behemoth, I kick it with my toe to see if it’s real. I ask myself, “Steph, how much of what you insist you need to do today genuinely needs to be done?”

This is when the mountain raises a suspicious eyebrow because it knows that this question could lead to its shrinking. It’s a big clue that I’m at the juncture of owning my decisions or giving that power away. We each hold our position, but only one of us can be in charge. Who will it be? Me, or this mountain of tasks, goals, and dreams that nobody, even in an alternate universe, could ever accomplish in a reasonable amount of time?

“Since I’m writing a story with a happy ending here, it’s going to be me. But, full disclosure, the mountain sometimes gets the best of me. However, I’ve gotten so much better over time at calling the shots.”

The first trick is to say, “This thing doesn’t need to get done today.” The second trick is to believe this deep to your core. When you reach advanced-level mountain shrinking, you’ll learn that some tasks can simply be chucked off the mountain.

This is because there are channels of prioritization. One channel is for things that need to get done — the when, where, and how. The other channel is for things that need to get punted from our self-expectation mountain. When these channels become murky, climbing our mountain is no walk in the park.

But what is a lovely walk in the park? It’s the serenity that comes when I narrow down my daily priorities to a list that my earlier self would have laughed at. “Are you kidding? That’s a tiny list!” she’d have said. Old me would have fretted through her day and sulked at only being able to cross off, say, three things. Present me, though, feels empowered for crossing off the same number of items.

What I’ve noticed about adjusting to tinier, more doable plans is that as I accomplish what I set out to do and rack up the wins, I’ve grown a palpable confidence that says, “You can realize your dreams.” It’s hill-sized goals that lead us to mountains of accomplishment and happiness.

To-Do Lists Overwhelm: Next Steps

• Free Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for ADHD Decision-Making
• Read: Why ADD To-Do Lists Backfire or Languish
• Read: The Ta-Da List Is the Antidote to To-Do List Shame

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

“Most of us don’t spend hours scrolling through social media because we think it’s a good use of our time; we do it because we are looking for the stimulation we need to function,” says Jessica McCabe, the creator and host of How to ADHD, a popular YouTube series, and author of the new book How to ADHD (#CommissionsEarned). “Unfortunately, the quick and easy sources of dopamine we tend to turn to often aren’t enough to satisfy that need. Or we hit the pleasure button on the same activity so many times, it stops being as fun.”

ADHD brains have lower-than-average levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that regulates the body’s pleasure and reward systems. As a result, dopamine-increasing behaviors are even more gratifying to ADHD brains.

“Concerns about time or consequences are dwarfed by the pursuit of pleasurable reinforcement,” explains Ellen Littman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist. “These dopamine-deficient brains experience a surge of motivation after a high-stimulation behavior triggers a release of dopamine, but in the aftermath of that surge and reward, they return to baseline levels with an immediate drop in motivation.”

As this cycle continues, individuals with ADHD can spend hours doing an activity they don’t really enjoy.

[Get This Free Dopamine Menu Template]

This is like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it, says Eric Tivers, LCSW, ADHD coach, CEO, and founder of ADHD reWired.

“Water comes into the bucket as fast as it goes out,” says Tivers, who discussed the dopamine drive of ADHD brains with McCabe in the How To ADHD video, “How to Give Your Brain the Stimulation It Needs.”

When dopamine is dipping, how can you resist the impulse to scroll it back up? “Just like it’s hard to make really good food choices when you are already hungry, it’s really hard to make good dopamine choices when you’re already low on dopamine,” McCabe says. “A person with ADHD has to figure out what those choices are, weigh them, figure out the steps involved, then initiate them, and, because the more satisfying dopamine choices usually take longer to set up, they have to tolerate the distress of being bored in the meantime.”

The solution, Tivers says, is to separate the planning from the choosing with a dopamine menu or ‘dopamine’ — a curated list of options that lightens the mental load of finding pleasurable, healthy activities to stimulate us when we need it most.

[Self-Test: Do I Have ADHD? ADD Symptoms in Adults]

McCabe suggests structuring your dopamenu with courses like a restaurant menu. Instead of ordering food, you select healthy, energizing activities from your menu, which is not

• a to-do list
• a cure for ADHD or burnout
• an alternative to medication or therapy

How to Build a Dopamine Menu

1. Design Your Dopamenu

First, brainstorm activities that typically boost your mood without inducing a hangover of regret or RSD. Then, slot the items into the appropriate menu categories (see below). If you’re stuck for ideas, check out the suggestions from McCabe and ADDitude readers.

Appetizers or starters. McCabe defines these as quick activities that don’t suck you in but still provide a burst of dopamine, such as

• one minute of jumping jacks
• drinking a cup of coffee
• listening to a favorite song
• eating a snack
• doing a few stretches or yoga poses
• taking a warm shower
• working on a crossword puzzle

“The bird feeder attached to our window is a surprising appetizer. There’s enough variety of birds in our yard that come at random intervals to give me a tiny burst of excitement, especially when my husband and kids are home because hearing their excitement is also a boost.” — Ariana

“Hugging my dog.” — An ADDitude reader

“A 30-second cold water blast at the end of my shower every morning gives me a quick boost.” — Bex

“Singing along to a song with familiar lyrics gives me an extra dopamine hit and occupies the part of my brain that isn’t focused on the task in front of me.” — Amanda

Entrées or main courses are more time-consuming activities. “These activities excite me and make me feel alive,” McCabe says. Potential entrée ideas are:

• playing an instrument
• filming a TikTok video
• walking the dog
• exercising
• journaling
• cooking or baking
• working on a hobby (e.g., needlepoint, crochet, coin collecting, etc.)

“My entrées are going for a brisk walk, listening to fast-paced music, and having an engaging conversation with friends.” — Amanda

“Puzzles. If I have the time and space, working on a jigsaw puzzle helps get my dopamine flowing.” — Sarah

“Taking a quick nap.” — Bethany

Sides are things you can do simultaneously to make boring tasks more stimulating, like

• listening to white noise
• playing a podcast
• using a fidget
• making a task more challenging, i.e., turning an activity into a game by setting a timer to see how fast you can accomplish a job
• enlisting a body doubling

“I love different ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) videos. If I need to be on the computer for a while, I’ll play one in the background.”— Elizabeth

“I have a few specific playlists (Happy Music, Good Energy, Latin American, etc.) that I reach for when I need to cook, shower, or do a task that is hard for me. I put in my headphones or turn up the volume on my speakers, and usually, the energy comes sneaking in as soon as I begin to smile, sing along, and feel like dancing.” — Michelle

“I prefer to listen to audiobooks that are interesting enough to keep my attention but don’t require so much focus that if I miss a sentence or two, I’ve lost the thread. Cozy mysteries fit the bill, especially a series where I am already familiar with most of the characters. I can listen while doing all sorts of normally un-fun stuff.” — An ADDitude reader

“I’ve found that mildly upbeat instrumental music not only puts me in a good mood but also creates a soundtrack for whatever I’m working on and a good pace for getting things done. It’s very reinforcing!” — Seth

Desserts often include activities that are easy to overdo, in part because they are easily accessible and provide a quick hit of dopamine. “It’s fine to eat dessert sometimes,” McCabe says. “It’s just good to be aware of when that’s what we are ordering because if that’s all we are eating, we’re probably not going to feel great.”

Examples of ‘desserts’ include:

• scrolling through social media
• texting
• spending time with someone who’s not really present
• watching TV
• playing video games by yourself

“Playing Candy Crush!” — Bethany

“Watching Reality TV shows.” — An ADDitude reader

“The New York Times game app.” — An ADDitude reader

Specials. McCabe also recommends creating a separate menu for ‘specials,’ that includes occasional, bucket-filling activities that may be less convenient, more expensive, or require planning. Items in this category may include:

• attending a concert
• taking a vacation
• going out to dinner
• seeing a play or comedy show
• visiting a nail salon
• getting a massage

2. Streamline Your Options

After completing your list of menu options, omit any that aren’t realistic for ADHD brains. “Whatever is on your menu should be something you’d actually ‘order’ and something you can actually ‘make,’” McCabe says. “Restaurants always take stuff off their menus; so can we.”

3. Prep Your Ingredients

“Restaurants prepare everything they reasonably can ahead of time, and we can do the same,” McCabe says. Prepping a menu idea makes it easier to accomplish. For example, McCabe puts her guitar on a stand near the couch so it’s visible and easily accessible. After watching TV at night, she switches to a YouTube workout video, so it’s the first thing she sees when turning on the TV in the morning.

4. Implement Barriers

McCabe encourages enforcing barriers to less healthy activities. The idea, she says, is to increase the number of steps involved in doing the things you want to avoid and to decrease the number of steps involved in completing your Dopamenu items. For example, McCabe put her phone charger away from her couch and deleted a social media platform from her phone. Before she can grab a snack, she must roll a D20 die and do whatever exercise matches the number from a list she keeps.

5. Play with Dopamenu Marketing

Most menus include enticing descriptions to get you to order, so should a dopamine menu. “You can make your dopamine menu pretty or funny,” McCabe says.

Make the final version visible and accessible. McCabe posts her dopamine menu on her coffee table, refrigerator, and office wall. Her phone’s lock screen displays a mini version. “Now, when I pick up my phone, I can see my other options,” she says.

Dopamine Menu Troubleshooting

If you get stumped when it’s time to ‘order,’ consider using a random choice generator website. You type in your options, and it selects one for you.

Using a dopamine menu doesn’t mean suddenly transforming your habits. “There’s something to be said about the familiarity, especially when we’re going through a crisis,” McCabe says. “But by preparing a menu in advance, we’ll have more options available when we need them.”

Struggling to develop dopamenu options could point to a more serious issue. “If you don’t know what you like anymore, then it’s time to see a doctor because the issue could be depression,” Tivers says.

Your Feelings Are Valid: Next Steps

• Read: 7 Self-Defeating Behaviors That Aggravate ADHD – and How to Fix Them
• Learn: The Dope on Dopamine Fasting: Expert Answers to Your Digital Detox Questions
• Read: Wasting Time on Social Media? 6 Ways to Stop ADHD Brains from Doom Scrolling
• Download: Get Control of Your Life and Schedule

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

The sink is overflowing with dishes. You know you need to wash them, but the thought alone is overwhelming. Another day goes by, dishes piling higher.

You remember you have a bill to pay. You try to sign in to your account, but you’ve forgotten your password. While you wait for the password reset email, you get sidetracked. Before you know it, that initial bill is forgotten.

This is ADHD – or, more accurately, executive dysfunction – in action. The brain processes humming in the background (i.e., executive functions) that are supposed to help you organize, plan, and execute simply aren’t reliable. Following through, as a result, is a core issue for you, even when you know what you’re supposed to do.

The biggest trap many of us fall into is believing we can “build” executive function or “train away” deficits. This is actually not the most effective way to help those of us with ADHD reliably and consistently do what we need to do. Here, learn why — and what to do instead.

[Take Our Executive Dysfunction Self-Test]

The Hard Truth About ADHD Executive Dysfunction

ADHD might as well be called Executive Function Deficit Disorder. It is fundamentally a disorder that impacts how we use the brain processes that help us perform day-to-day functions and work toward short- and long-term goals.

It’s not that individuals with ADHD necessarily have fewer or less effective executive functions. The problem is that executive functioning is applied inconsistently. We see this when we’re able to hyperfocus on tasks we find interesting yet find it downright painful to focus on what we find boring.

ADHD is a deficit in reliably converting intentions into actions. Your batting average on doing the right thing at the right time is a bit lower than the batting average of most people without ADHD. The question is, how can you improve your stats?

Building a library of executive function skills is not the answer. That’s because you already know how to use a planner to keep organized. You know that reminders are helpful for forgetfulness and time management. You know you should keep a to-do list. You know that you need to eliminate distractions to focus. The problem is with putting these skills to action.

[Read: The Adult ADHD Mind – Executive Function Connections]

Success comes from creating systems and backstops to support existing executive functions and take the strain off them. It’s about setting yourself up – with honesty, self-awareness, and intention – so that you can more reliably coordinate your abilities to make the better choice an easier one.

Strategies to Support Executive Functioning and Achieve Consistency

Externalize, Delegate, and Automate

Take the load off your executive functions by outsourcing the work to reliable tools.

• Externalize to-dos with intention. Whether it’s sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, planners, white boards, voice notes, texts to self, smart speakers, location-based reminders, or recurring alarms on your phone, find a way to dump it all out of your head so you don’t have to internally manage information.
• Set up automatic payments and purchases as necessary.
• Use AirTags and other trackers on your belongings. (Keep losing your keys? Consider installing a keypad or an electronic lock.)
• Use password managers to save logins for various accounts.
• Place clocks everywhere. Digital clocks are okay, but analog clocks may help you be more aware of the passage of time.

Your Environment Matters

Seek environments that allow you to perform at your best. Ask yourself: Where do I seriously do my best work? What keeps me on track?

Be as detailed and honest as possible in your answers, and don’t assume conventional approaches are best. Perhaps your productivity spikes when you work out of a bustling coffee shop. Or maybe it’s total silence you need, found at a corner of your office building or local library. Or you may be unusually productive while taking public transportation. Perhaps it’s variety you need if staying in one spot for too long becomes boring.

A note on clutter: A disorganized environment won’t do you any favors, but it may not be worth worrying about aesthetics if you’re still able to function and get things done in a full space.

Match Tasks to Brainpower

Our energy levels and ability to focus change through the day, so plan your most cognitively demanding tasks for when you have the most brain power. That may mean after a workout, in the morning before other tasks pile up, or in the evening once the day’s responsibilities are behind you. Plan to tackle demanding tasks when your ADHD medication is most effective, not when it’s wearing off.

Cut Down on “Noise” and Friction

Temptations and distractions compete for our attention 24/7. Our executive functions help keep us on track, but why make that harder than it has to be?

• Take willpower out of the equation. Why spend lots of energy resisting your phone when it would be much easier to silence notifications, install an Internet blocker, or keep the phone in another room?
• Think signal-to-noise ratio. Our attention is directed to what is big, loud, and obvious. Consider this as you boost the signal of desired tasks – where you want your attention to go – and reduce the noise of distractions.
• Would you bet $1,000 on it? Too often, we’re overly optimistic about our ability to handle distractions and muster the discipline to get things done. Cut through the false optimism by increasing what’s at stake: Would you bet money that you’ll be able to stay focused with your phone around? That you’ll be able to leave on time without setting (and honoring) reminders? What would it take for you to confidently make that bet?

Speed Up Consequences

We’re more likely to put off doing the things we need to do when the payoffs and consequences are vague, potentially avoidable, or too far off. It’s why we end up working on large and important school or work projects at the last possible minute, when consequences for failing to turn in work are front and center.

• Make potential regret come faster. Create artificial consequences that are immediate, certain, and specific enough to spur yourself into action. Take the initiative to schedule weekly check-ins with your boss to review progress on a large project. Externalize accountability by telling a friend about what you intend to do and by when.
• Create artificial circumstances. Set up a rule at home, for example, that phones can only be used after homework is completed.

Reduce Stress and Chaos

Chaos begets chaos. More things are likely to fall through the cracks with a disorganized, chaotic life. Trying to juggle it all and scrape by further burdens your executive functions. Reduce the chaos in your life by finding order wherever you can — with routines and healthy habits — to take the pressure off sensitive brain functions that are better used on cognitively demanding tasks. Intentionally build in breathing room to your daily schedule, especially during tricky transitions.

We can all agree that exercise, sleep, healthy eating, and mindfulness benefit cognitive and emotional processes, so don’t neglect these areas. Medication helps people with ADHD do what they know, so take medication as indicated.

Maintain Motivation by Enjoying the Journey

The central question that will follow you throughout your life as you manage ADHD is, “How will I do the things I know I want to do?” The answer lies in continuing to set up good processes that will help you experience more desired outcomes than negative ones. The more success and productivity you experience in managing ADHD’s impact on your life, the healthier your self-esteem will be.

• Make processes enjoyable. The benefits of making better choices — like reviewing your notes every day, dedicating time to keep your spaces organized, filing important documents, going to sleep on time, and attending to other responsibilities — often arrive far too gradually to fuel motivation. To the extent that you can, find ways to make these processes and routines fun and easy. Reward yourself along the way for putting one foot in front of the other.
• Don’t do it for anyone else. The processes you create are for your benefit only, not for anyone else’s seal of approval. The more you remember this, the easier it will be to seek changes that improve your life, without looking to the opinions of others as motivators.
• Always credit yourself for taking positive actions. Given how much criticism and correction those of us with ADHD receive, take pride whenever you make the right choices that set you up for success (or get you closer to it). Never sell yourself short, and don’t worry about achieving perfection.
• Setbacks are inevitable. Don’t beat yourself up or catastrophize when they happen. Handle them resiliently by refusing to surrender.

ADHD Executive Dysfunction: Next Steps

• Read: What Is Executive Function? 7 Deficits Tied to ADHD
• Read: Your Executive Functions Are Weak. Here’s Why.
• Read: Intention Deficit Disorder — Why ADHD Minds Struggle to Meet Goals with Action

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Executive Function Strategies to Externalize Time, Memory, Motivation” [Video Replay & Podcast #479] with Ari Tuckman, Psy.D., MBA, which was broadcast on November 9, 2023.

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