It turns out I was not alone. As a mental health educator and psychoeducator today, I often hear from parents and families about the distress they feel ahead of meeting with their child’s educational support team.

School meetings are critical because they allow us families to gather needed information and promote beneficial changes to a child’s education. Yet, we can feel powerless at times. We may also vicariously experience the trauma and shame associated with disability during these meetings.

So, how can we best support ourselves during an IEP/504 meeting (or any advocacy meeting) so we can fully support our kids? Here are some tips I’ve gathered from families, professionals, and my own parenting experiences over the years:

1. You don’t have to do it alone. IEP and 504 meetings can feel even more daunting if you feel isolated. Remember that you can bring a trusted family member or healthcare advocate with you. Beyond being a calming presence, a relative or trusted friend can help by making sure that you express your key points, stay on track, and ask pointed questions. Your support person can also help you debrief after the meeting.

[Get This Free Download: How to Make School Meetings Count]

2. Write out your questions and concerns ahead of time. Whether you use a phone, laptop, notepad, or an old-school clipboard, jot down any questions that come to mind well before your meeting. Chances are that you have many concerns. Writing down your thoughts will help you to keep organized and to fit your important concerns into the limited time allotted. Also, take notes during the meeting if you want to remember details and worry that you won’t!

3. Go ahead and ask your questions. Just like you might have heard from your favorite teacher growing up: No question is a stupid question. Ask questions, seek clarification, and gather information without worrying about feeling self-conscious. It’s your right.

4. Remember that everyone on the IEP team is trying their best. Most educational professionals are spread thin, overworked, underpaid, and burnt out. Keeping this in mind should help you to communicate with kindness and compassion. If you’re concerned about nervousness giving your speech an unintended edge or otherwise hindering effective communication, try roleplaying with a supportive friend who will give you honest feedback.

5. Commit to following up. You can request a review of your child’s plan at any time. Make sure you collect the contact info of all those in attendance at the meeting so that you can reach out if a new issue arises. Don’t be afraid to express that the plan isn’t working and needs revamping if need be.

[Read: 9 Ways IEPs Fall Apart]

6. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be a fierce advocate for your child, but also keep in mind that educational advocacy is a process that takes trial, error, and refinement over time.

Parenting a child with an atypical neurotype isn’t always easy. Advocacy isn’t, either. The silver lining? We grow through meeting challenges. We become stronger and develop more confidence as we become used to the role of advocate. In fighting for your child’s needs, you may find a voice you didn’t know you had.

IEP Meeting Anxiety: Next Steps

• Free Download: Mid-Year Checkup Guide for Students with ADHD
• Read: How Should I Prepare for an IEP Meeting?
• Read: How to Get the ADHD Accommodations Your Child Needs

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First of all, I’m very sorry that this happened to your son. I remember going to an IEP meeting for one of my twice-exceptional students, a brilliant young man who had tremendous difficulty with written assignments. A lack of appropriate accommodations caused him to burn out, so we called a meeting. I remember saying to the team of teachers sitting around, “Are you literally trying to make sure this child cannot be successful in your classroom? Because that’s what it feels like to me.”

In your child’s case, an effective way to incorporate burnout prevention in his IEP is by ensuring that task analysis be done on all assignments. Task analysis — or breaking down a task into smaller, more manageable steps — is crucial for managing overwhelm.

[Read: “Are Your High-Achieving Students Burning Out? Why It’s Critical to Know.”]

With this type of accommodation, your child’s teachers can break down a big research project, for example, into smaller, concrete tasks that keep your child motivated. Step One can be identifying the research topic. Step Two can be submitting a list of resources and websites your child will consult for the research project. Step Three can be preparing an outline, then a draft followed by feedback and another draft, and so on until the project is successfully completed. Each step and corresponding deadline must be identified and laid out in your child’s calendar well before the project even begins. Checkpoints should also be worked in; these help to raise flags to teachers if your child goes off track and needs additional support.

How far apart to space these tasks will depend on their nature and how they relate to your child’s strengths and areas of need. Even then, extended time on a task — beyond a two-day extension — might be necessary for your child.

Especially in advanced classes, it’s often difficult for teachers to understand that the timelines they propose for accomplishing various tasks are not reasonable for every student. I’ve had teachers say, “If I give one student extra time, I’m going to have to give the whole class extra time.” My response, which I suggest you use: “What do you want? Do you want excellent, or do you want fast?”

Academic Burnout Prevention: Next Steps

• Read: When Gifted Kids Burn Out — How to Support Twice-Exceptional Students
• Read: Unlocking the Potential of Gifted Kids with ADHD
• Read: “I Grew Up Gifted and Autistic — and Suffered the Burnout of Twice Exceptionality”

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude webinar titled, “Avoiding & Recovering from 2e Burnout: Support for Gifted Students” [Video Replay & Podcast #467] with Mary Ruth Coleman, Ph.D., which was broadcast on August 17, 2023.

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This is the plight of many immigrant families in today’s U.S. school system. Because of language barriers, many caregivers fail to connect with educators and often keep quiet at their child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings, when input about supports and services is so important. Add to the mix cultural differences and the situation gets worse. In many Latin American countries, a child’s challenges are not attributed to ADHD — the diagnosis isn’t generally accepted — but rather to a lack of clear rules or an absence of punishment. Medication is only used only as a last resort.

Given these challenges, we’ve created a checklist to help educators lead a successful IEP meeting with immigrant Latinx caregivers of students with learning differences. Something to keep in mind: Stigma is pervasive in Spanish-speaking countries. When caregivers express resistance, it is often due to a lack of information or because they feel shame or guilt.

[Sign Up: The ADHD Learning Series for Educators]

Before the IEP Meeting

• Hold an initial, brief parent-teacher conference to prepare the groundwork for the IEP meeting.
• Emphasize to the caregivers that you want to work as a team to help their child succeed, and that you value their input.
• Explain the purpose of an IEP, how the meeting will be structured, and who will participate.
• Inform caregivers of their rights (i.e., a translator, support person) and make sure to allow extra time for interpretation when scheduling the IEP meeting.
• Provide a draft of the IEP in Spanish.

During the IEP Meeting

• Invite parents to share information about their child and the strategies that have worked for them.
• Discuss ways in which the family can help from home, considering their routines, time limitations, and language barriers between generations.
• Explain test results and next steps.
• Provide the contact information of a person that they can call or email with questions.

After the IEP Meeting

Now that you’ve spent time with the family, follow up to keep the connection going and the family engaged. When caregivers and teachers work together, students feel understood, supported, and empowered.

IEP Meetings: Next Steps

• Download: 30 Straightforward Accommodations for Children with ADHD
• Read: How to Better Communicate with Students and Families of Color
• Read: Get Specific and Set Goals: Writing IEPs That Work
• Read: “Can We Request Another IEP Meeting?”

David Lucas “Luke” Smith, M.D., is the executive director and medical director at El Futuro, a nonprofit outpatient mental health clinic in North Carolina. He is board-certified in adult, child, and adolescent psychiatry.  

Tamara Schlez is an ADHD coach and engagement specialist at El Futuro.  

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Schools often suspend students who have ADHD for classroom “disruptions” stemming from behavior they cannot control. Educators and administrators regularly resort to disciplinary practices that ignore the rights of students with disabilities and their families. In fact, the idea that consequences are the only path to elicit a change in behavior is pervasive among general education teachers — and wrong. It doesn’t have to be this way. These punitive consequences deny students with ADHD access to an appropriate education.

Bridging Neuroscience Research and Practice

Applied educational neuroscience, one of the fastest growing areas of research and practice, is a framework through which students and adults (educators, counselors, and parents) learn how to manage and regulate emotions to move toward positive goals. This process also involves teaching students about their own brain function so they can better understand and modify their behavior. Instead of focusing on consequences as a path to correcting undesired behaviors, applied educational neuroscience asks how brains are functioning at any given moment, and provides educators with useful methods of responding, including checking in with their own emotional state.

[Sign Up: The ADHD Learning Series for Educators]

Many school districts have implemented the Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports and Multi-Tiered System of Supports frameworks to address classroom behavior, but these often become lists to be checked off rather than embedded into the school culture.

Accountability and Compliance

The responsibility of holding schools accountable for following Individualized Education Programs and 504 Plans, and state laws governing the rights of students with disabilities and their families, often falls to the parents of the student involved. This process can be confusing and arduous. While districts are required to inform parents of their rights and assist them with asserting these rights, school administrators who already exhibit difficulty with issues of compliance are not likely to hold up their end of the deal. There should be more oversight, without expecting parents to function as watchdogs over their children’s education. Existing mechanisms of accountability need to change.

We need to teach educators about brain function and the behaviors that stem from ADHD and other diagnoses, and then hold educators and schools accountable when they dole out suspensions instead of teaching executive function skills that boost a student’s chances for success.

Inclusive Education: Next Steps

• Download: What Learning Disabilities Look Like In the Classroom
• Read: Inadequate Teacher Training Stifles Students with ADHD
• Learn: The Educator’s Guide to Executive Functions

Anna Weber, M.Ed., is a special education professional in southwest Michigan and board certified as an advocate in special education. Her son has ADHD.

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Sadly, this is an increasingly common situation, often referred to as “informal removal” or “off-the-books suspension,” which some schools use to “manage” students they deem to be disruptive. However, what ends up being disrupted is the student’s rights — their ability to learn and make academic progress, as well as to benefit from the social interactions of the school day.

What can you do when your student faces this situation? How can schools balance the rights and needs of students they deem to be disruptive with the safety and needs of other students, staff, and the school community?

Students’ Rights to a Free, Appropriate Education

Let’s start with some basic principles. First, no student can be excluded from school, or from part of the school day, without at least minimal “due process” notice of the school’s intent to exclude them and a chance to present their side of what happened. This right applies to all students, regardless of whether they have a 504 Plan or an Individualized Education Program (IEP).

Students with IEPs, under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), are entitled to a free, appropriate public education. If a student with an IEP is acting out, having behavioral issues, or otherwise not functioning appropriately in school, the IEP team is required to look at the student’s IEP and examine how that student’s behavior may be related to their disability. This can be done through a functional behavior assessment (FBA), which should result in a Behavioral Intervention Plan. The presumption is that if there are consistent behavioral issues, the student’s IEP is not appropriate or adequate to address their disabilities.

[eBook: The Teacher’s Guide to ADHD School Behavior]

In addition, if a student with an IEP faces a suspension of 10 days or more, an FBA is required as part of a manifestation determination — a determination as to whether the student’s conduct is connected to their disability. If this is the case, the school needs to strengthen the services it provides to that student. This can mean adding supports to their day, placement in a smaller or more appropriate class, or otherwise helping the student moderate their behavior while adhering to the requirement of the IDEA that their education take place in the least restrictive environment.

Like those with IEPs, students with 504 Plans have been determined to have a disability and are entitled to the same kind of school day as their non-disabled classmates. If their day is shortened because they are sent home early or put on “home instruction” because of their behavior, they are not receiving the same educational opportunities as their non-disabled peers. They, too, are entitled to an appropriate education in the least restrictive environment.

Keep in mind that schools are required to keep records of suspensions; informal or “off-the-books” suspensions often fail to comply with this record-keeping requirement.

Parents’ Role as Advocates

As a parent advocate, you need to be a detective, getting as much information as possible from your child and others (a cooperative teacher, a classmate, or a sibling) about what happened at school. Did your child push Sammy? Or did they push Sammy back? Has there been bullying going on that the school knew or should have known about? Or did this incident arise out of the blue? Have there been other issues you have not heard about?

Next, you need to be an advocate. When you get a call from the school, advise them that you will not agree to any kind of removal without an opportunity to hear the basis of the school’s action and to respond to these claims. You want to hear what happened and have a chance to present your child’s position. It can be as informal as a meeting with the principal, but you and your child have the right to this basic due process.

[Quiz: How Well Do You Know Special-Ed Law?]

If your child did something that merits action by the school, you should consider having them evaluated without delay. Do behavioral issues need to be addressed? Is a 504 Plan or an IEP needed, or are modifications to an existing plan warranted to provide the student with the behavioral support they need? Is the school proposing to suspend your student for 10 days or more or exclude them from a regular program to the extent that your child’s school placement would change? Either situation would trigger their right to a manifestation determination (reviewing whether their behavior was related to their disability).

Your child has a right to get the supports and services that they require. The school’s failure to provide these does not give administrators the right to exclude your student from the regular school day.

It’s important to note that very different rules apply when students bring guns or other deadly weapons to school. Every state is required by federal law to suspend such students for at least a year, providing them with alternative education. This is where a student’s right to be educated with appropriate supports comes up against the safety of the school community, and the law is clear that safety is paramount.

The National Disability Rights Network prepared a report on informal school removal in 2022 that looks at the policies, practices, and remedies for these situations. It can be found online at additu.de/isr-report and makes for informative reading.

ADHD Students’ Rights: Next Steps

• Free Checklist: Fight for Your Child’s Rights at School
• Read: When Behavior Interferes with Learning
• Q: “Can the School Expel My Child for ADHD Behaviors?”

Susan Yellin, Esq., is the Director of Advocacy and Transition Services at The Yellin Center for Mind, Brain, and Education, an innovative learning support and diagnostic practice in New York City.

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Click each image below to read detailed advice and strategies for the school year ahead.

In a recent ADDitude survey, less than half of educators said they receive formal training to help them understand and effectively teach students with ADHD and its comorbid conditions. Many teachers rely on the expertise and ideas of their students’ families, which is why ADDitude has created this guided, curated email learning series to equip caregivers with accurate, up-to-date information about ADHD, plus realistic and effective solutions to the specific academic and behavioral challenges associated with ADHD in the classroom.

Your training will begin immediately with an introduction to ADHD and executive dysfunction, myths and misinformation that impact learning and self-esteem, and ideas for starting off the school year right. Each week, you will receive a new lesson about effective accommodations, common learning differences and behavior problems associated with ADHD, homework strategies, social skills help, and much more…

PART ONE: ADHD Misinformation
PART TWO: ADHD Accommodations
PART THREE: Distractibility and Inattention
PART FOUR: Weak Executive Functions
PART FIVE: Behavior Challenges
PART SIX: Homework Problems
PART SEVEN: Learning Differences
PART EIGHT: Social Struggles
PART NINE: School Collaboration
PART TEN: Motivation and Resilience

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

Ninth grade is a big leap for kids with ADHD, whose emotional maturity and executive functioning may lag a few years behind that of their neurotypical peers. Your teen will be navigating a new school (and the stress of finding classrooms), new teachers, new peers, and more advanced classwork while undergoing hormonal changes and new social dynamics. These pressures can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or reveal related difficulties.

6 Tips for 9^th Grade

Help your teen meet the new challenges of high school with the following tips:

[Free Download: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement]

1. Build skills. Identify your teen’s true emotional maturity. For example, does your 8th grader relate to others on a 5th-grade level? Consider what skills will be essential in high school and what you can do together to build them. For example, you might coach your teen on how to respond to teachers and role-play the interactions so he can practice using a respectful tone. Reflecting on situations your teen has navigated successfully in middle school also builds confidence. Offer reassurance and support.
2. Get organized. Buy school supplies early, if possible, and set up a desk or a quiet place in the home for your teen to do his schoolwork. Create a routine for organizing your teen’s backpack and notebooks. Get familiar with the school’s website and apps for viewing classes, assignments, events, and grades.
3. Review accommodations. You and your teen should review his IEP or 504 Plan before school begins to ensure he has appropriate accommodations. If these supports fall short, your teen should be prepared to advocate for himself.
4. Listen up. After a tiring day of holding it together in school, your teen’s anxiety may worsen when he gets home. Be calm and accepting. Ask open-ended questions to gain insight. Create an atmosphere where your teen feels heard and can safely express his fears and concerns.
5. Work on time management. Help your teen assess the time required to complete a project or assignment. Then use time-tracking apps that let your teen set time markers for each step of a task from beginning through completion.
6. Encourage study buddies. Study groups and tutors can help lighten your teen’s memory load. Peer support and mentor programs may also help teens with ADHD navigate the social dynamics at school. Is your teen interested in tennis or swimming? Joining a sports team and pairing up with an older student on that team can foster a feeling of belonging and support.

9th Grade Readiness: Next Steps

• Learn: 50 High School Accommodations for Every ADHD Challenge
• Read: Your High School Get-It-Together Guide
• Free Download: Boost Your Teen’s Executive Functions
• Watch: High School Success: How to Prepare for the Transition from Middle to High School
• Sign Up: ADDitude’s Free Parenting Class: Everything You Need to Know About Raising a Child with ADHD 

Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC, is the author of Why Will No One Play with Me?

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It’s hard to know the prevalence of twice-exceptionality, but a report from the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) estimates that 6% of U.S. students receiving special education services are also academically gifted.¹ Patience, persistence, and advocacy are key to improved outcomes for this largely underserved school population.

If your child is twice exceptional, did you first notice their strengths or their weaknesses? We asked ADDitude readers this and more: Did the school system acknowledge and support all the aspects of your child’s learning profile? How does this affect their academic performance and friendships? Scroll down to the Comments section and add to the conversation.

“We recognized the gifted attributes first, which ‘hid’ the ADHD until fifth grade. Teachers have high expectations, but they often do not consider [my daughter’s] ADHD when she forgets something or needs reminders because she performs well. She is still doing well, and they have a great resource department. She has a small group of friends who have ADHD too, and who are also doing extremely well in school.” — An ADDitude Reader

“My 12-year-old son has ADHD, developmental coordination disorder (DCD), and is gifted. The DCD was diagnosed first. The ADHD diagnosis came much later. Because he is bright, an introvert, and not hyperactive or impulsive, he flew under the radar. He does very well in math and reading, but just average on written tasks, which he finds harder because of his motor difficulties and his struggle to make decisions about what to write! He has always had friends but is shy. He finds it hard to initiate social interaction.” — Emily, Australia

 [eBook: Signs & Symptoms of Learning Disabilities]

“We had our daughter tested for ADHD after her brother’s diagnosis. We always felt she wasn’t reaching her full potential at school. They came back with a diagnosis of ADHD and giftedness. I think the diagnosis improved her self-esteem and helped her better understand how she learns, but she experiences a big social and academic disconnect. At school, she hangs out with kids on the fringe but takes AP courses. Her classmates are always surprised that she’s smart because they don’t perceive her that way. She feels that many of her teachers don’t, either. She’s a really bright kid who acts impulsively. Luckily, medication and therapy are helping her make better decisions and focus on her future.” — An ADDitude Reader

“Both of my children are 2e and I couldn’t be prouder of that fact! It’s difficult to distinguish which I noticed first, as both were very bright little people who never stopped moving. The ADHD diagnoses came first and helped push toward a 504 Plan. Once they were old enough for thorough testing and evaluation, high intelligence and specific learning disabilities (SLD) were indicated. Before that, though, there were areas of concern that the school consistently dismissed as typical for the age (which was not the case). Once the documentation showed otherwise, the IEP process began for the SLD need, but all ADHD supports were stopped. It wasn’t totally understood by the teachers involved why an IEP was necessary. Their “low” is average and average is what they were aiming for, but it wasn’t allowing the children to reach their potential. With administrative support at a new school, supports to address their attention and focus were added back in and things have been positive overall.” — Rebecca

“I have three gifted children. They’re all amazing, but two of them are 2e. My oldest was recognized as academically gifted in some subject areas, but the inattentive ADHD wasn’t until much later. I was diagnosed first and it became obvious to us that she had it too. It took three years of work and ‘second opinions’ to get a diagnosis at age 17, with only 5 months left of her school life… My youngest 2e child has been recognized by adults as gifted since he was a toddler. Individual teachers would recognize it, but… we had to pay for an external evaluation to get a diagnosis: first of severe dysgraphia, then combined ADHD. The school now acknowledges the diagnoses and provides minimal support for the dysgraphia during assessments only… I am extremely proud of my middle child, but I look at what she has been able to achieve at school and in the community and wonder what the other two could have done, or could be doing, if they received the support they needed.” — Lisa, Australia

“From the time he was 2 or 3 years old, my son’s incredibly bright mind was obvious to me as a parent. Unfortunately, his keen intelligence left me questioning my parenting when he couldn’t do simple things like stay close to me in the grocery store or listen when he was told not to touch something… He thrived academically but had a lot of trouble adapting to all the rules in a classroom. That’s when we knew something wasn’t lining up. He was diagnosed with ADHD in first grade. His psychological evaluation confirmed his high intelligence, but also revealed a rather low processing speed. Suddenly everything made sense, and I cut myself some slack as a parent. There is no perfect place in school for a 2e child, but he is currently thriving in advanced classes with a 504 plan in place. He has healthy friendships with other bright kids, many of whom are a year older than him.” — An ADDitude Reader, Michigan

[Read: Slow Processing Speed — Signs & Solutions for a Misunderstood Deficit]

“Both of my kids are 2e. In the oldest, IQ masked ADHD (without hyperactivity). We didn’t get a diagnosis until things fell apart in sixth grade. It was hard for my child to cope with always being ‘the professor’ who had no trouble in school to suddenly being the kid who couldn’t find homework or keep up with busy work. In my youngest child, ADHD masked her IQ, so school wouldn’t allow her in the gifted program despite testing from a psychologist. The psychologist didn’t want to ‘label’ my child as ADHD until they were in the correct academic setting, so we wasted a lot of time begging for help and cooperation while my child suffered. Now they are both getting what they need and doing well, but it’s sadly always a gamble: Will they get a teacher next year who doesn’t get them and their strengths or needs? Thankfully, both kids have good friends that got them through their difficult times. I wish teachers would be more knowledgeable and aware of 2e kids so it wouldn’t be such a big ordeal.” — An ADDitude Reader

“A few of [my daughter’s] recent teachers don’t understand her ADHD. She has been in gifted or honors classes since middle school and is now a sophomore… They don’t understand how hard it is for her to stay focused long enough to complete her assignments, which are longer in advanced classes. They don’t know how that goes into getting [assignments] done — taking medication in the morning and afternoon at the right time, being able to fall asleep so she can function the next day… Listening to music on her phone with earbuds helps her focus, but that isn’t usually allowed in school. Sending a text to her dad or I about something important before she forgets gets her in trouble. I think she’ll do better in college, where she can control her course load and have more autonomy to take care of her needs. One advantage of her being 2e is that she has a better understanding of her ADHD and how to manage it. This helps her advocate for herself better.” — Kim, California

“My 16-year-old son is 2e. His IQ is over 130, but he also has ADHD… We recognized his 2e diagnosis in second grade. Although he had read most of the books in the Harry Potter series by age 7, his teacher (in a dual language immersion school) said that she did not think he needed any accelerated or differential teaching. He has had particular issues with teachers who were not trained in the U.S. (Latin America and Europe) and his current high school supports are completely teacher dependent. His private college prep school refuses to give him any accommodations around decreasing homework or allowing additional time on assignments due to slow processing speed (he only receives extra time for tests)… Although transferring schools would probably benefit him, he is adamant to stay at this school. He has had substantial issues with friendships. He currently does not have many good, long-term relationships after starting high school and floats from group to group. He has a lot of social anxiety and difficulty ‘reading’ both his peers and school teachers or administrators.”

2e Students and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: Fight for Your Child’s Rights at School
• Read: Encourage Success, Overcome Struggles
• Replay: The 2e Playbook for Nurturing Gifted Students with ADHD
• Read: Twice-Exceptional and Thriving — At Last

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Sources

¹Baird, L. L. (2022, April 20). How to support your twice-exceptional child. U.S. News & World Report. https://www.usnews.com/education/k12/articles/how-to-support-your-twice-exceptional-child

Hi IEP Parent:

I appreciate how much you want to support your daughter. And the best way to do so is to ensure she gets the support she needs at school. However, as you’ve realized, getting the information you need can be frustrating and overwhelming and depends on good communication with her teachers.

It’s important to know what the modifications and accommodations from your daughter’s IEP look like, how they are being implemented and measured for progress, and how this information will be communicated to you.

I suggest sending each teacher a list of specific questions to gather this data. You want to know if your daughter is performing at grade level, what teaching methods are used in the classroom, and where they see any struggles.

I’ve put together a list of seven questions to help guide the discussion.

[Bring This Form to Your Parent-Teacher Meetings]

7 Questions to Improve Communication with Teachers

1. Have You Read My Child’s IEP or 504 Plan?

You don’t want to assume that your daughter’s teachers have a copy of her IEP or that they have read it. I recommend forwarding a copy of her IEP and a one-page summary detailing your daughter’s strengths and weaknesses to each of her teachers. Don’t forget to include her elective or special-area teachers in physical education, music, art, health, etc. Also, include your contact information, so the teachers will know the best way to get in touch with you. Then send a follow-up email to each teacher a week later to confirm that they received and read the report.

2. Can You Tell Me About Your Teaching Style?

Each individual instructor’s teaching style will differ. Finding out how they teach is critical to her success in the classroom. For example, if your child is a hands-on learner and her chemistry teacher is strictly an old-school lecturer, additional support and scaffolding may be necessary. In other words, you want to know what a typical class period looks like.

3. What Supports Are in Place for My Daughter, and How Are You Specifically Implementing Them?

Academic and behavioral support can be provided in many ways, so you need to get detailed here. What do the IEP accommodations and supports look like in each class? Are they a pull-out model (where a student is removed from class for support) or a push-in model (where support staff blends in with the rest of the class to offer support)? Is the teacher providing her with copies of the class notes? Supplying double desks? Applying homework modifications or offering directions in more than two modalities?

4. Does My Daughter Need Extra Help in Any Areas? If So, How Are You Working with Her to Address Them?

This is a softer way of asking what your daughter may be struggling with and what her teacher is doing to support her.

5. What Type of Progress Can I Expect to See?

It’s not enough for your daughter’s teachers to tell you what accommodations or modifications they are implementing. You also need to know what type of progress to expect and how it will look. Use the following questions to get clear answers.

• What should healthy progress look like?
• What are some key signs that we are moving in the right direction?
• What should I watch out for at home?

[Free Checklist: 12 Parent Advocacy Secrets]

6. How Can I Communicate to You What Works Best for My Daughter at Home?

It’s crucial to give your daughter’s teachers a clear view of what is working at home. Maybe your daughter needs to doodle to focus or move around while learning. Perhaps she needs to listen to music while doing “desk work.”  These strategies need to be communicated to her teachers so they can possibly incorporate them into their classrooms.

7. How Can We Support Classroom Goals at Home?

For students to make the best progress possible, goals must be fluid between school and home. To that end, make sure there is a clear communication plan in place. How will you communicate with your student’s teacher? How will they communicate with you? How often? Do you want to know about specific criteria, milestones, or setbacks? The more specific you make your communication plan, the fewer things will be left to chance, and the most success your daughter will achieve!

Good luck!

Communication with Teachers: Next Steps

• Learn: How to Improve Parent-Teacher Communication
• Read: Don’t Wait for the Parent-Teacher Conference! 11 Year-Round Cooperation Rules
• Download: How to Make School Meetings Count: Your Free Guide

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Hi FrustratedMom:

I totally understand your frustration, especially if you and your son are doing everything you can to stay on top of his homework and class assignments. You have many different concerns: You don’t know soon enough when homework is missing, your son thinks he’s getting everything turned in, and you’re also worried about his grades.

Some seventh graders don’t need help remembering homework. However, for students with ADHD and executive functioning challenges, being organized, remembering to do homework, and knowing how and even where to turn it in are all tasks that can be extremely difficult to manage. So, your son may really need help! Seventh grade, for many kids, is a transition year — from elementary school to middle school, from childhood to adolescence. There’s much more going on than just weekly homework. In other words, it can be an overwhelming time.

[Free Download: Proven Homework Help for Kids with ADHD]

The good news is that because you already have a 504 Plan in place, you can expect his seventh-grade teacher to implement a system to help him remember to do and turn in his homework.

Before I suggest changes to your son’s 504 Plan, I think it’s important that your son knows you believe he is doing the best he can. It can be really demoralizing for a child to feel like he’s doing everything he’s supposed to, only to discover something went wrong. It could be that your son is turning in the work, but it’s going to the wrong spot, or the teacher has misplaced it. And while it’s possible that your son hasn’t turned in anything, avoid placing blame and instead focus on establishing a system that will help your son be more successful, more accountable, and keep his teacher accountable, too.

Begin by contacting your CSE (Committee for Special Education) point of contact to request an amendment to the 504 Plan. Depending on the district, this may require a CSE meeting, but in some schools, they can just add the amendment and send it to the teachers.

Top 504 Plan Homework Accommodations for ADHD

Here are 504 Plan accommodations that I recommend:

1. A prompt from the teacher to turn in assignments. A 504 Plan is not an IEP — it has fewer teeth. 504s work more like recommendations than the enforced rules of an IEP, but it’s often enough to have it in writing that the teacher should prompt the student to turn in work.
2. A homework checklist can also help keep your son accountable — not just the online grading system but a physical piece of paper that the student has the teacher initial when he turns in the assignment.
3. A paper planner that is checked daily by the teachers to ensure your son has all his assignments noted as well as completed and turned in.
4. A special accommodation, such as taking a photograph of his homework or submitting homework via email to eliminate that extra step in class the next day.
5. Communication! You can build it into your 504 Plan to have the teacher reach out to you promptly if a certain number of assignments are missing or your son’s grades have dropped to a certain GPA.

[Free Download: Sample Letter to Request an IEP or 504 Plan Evaluation]

You can also talk with your son’s team about having extended deadlines for turning in assignments if your son is feeling overloaded and overwhelmed. And many schools offer a second set of textbooks to keep at home to ensure the student has what they need to do homework.

As your son gets older, you may find that the 504 Plan simply isn’t enough. Then you may need to move to an IEP, which gives you more tools to help support your son’s educational needs and stronger requirements for following the ADHD accommodations. Remember, any accommodation that makes it more likely your son will succeed is worth putting in writing!

It sounds like you’re doing all you can from your end. Hang in there, FrustratedMom.

504 Plan: Next Steps

• Free Download: Sample 504 Plan for Students with ADHD
• Learn: “Is My Child with ADHD Entitled to a 504 Plan?”
• Read: Common Problems & Helpful Solutions for Your IEP/504 Plan
• Sign Up: Free Back-to-School Master Class for Parents and Educators

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

A: Annual IEP meetings are a minimum, and you have the right to convene an IEP meeting at any time, not just once a year. That said, it is not always necessary to hold a meeting to make changes to an IEP. If you and the school agree that changes are needed, these can be made in writing without a meeting.

The school should add these changes to the existing IEP and share a copy of the updated IEP with you. This process is generally used for minor adjustments, such as adding or reducing the frequency of services like speech or occupational therapy.

For more substantial changes, like changing a classroom setting or adding completely new services, you likely will need a meeting. Start by communicating with the IEP team to see if the changes you want to make can be done without a meeting.

IEP Meeting Requests: Next Steps

• Read: IEP Meeting Advice — How to Get the ADHD Accommodations Your Child Needs
• Q: What Is Your IEP Meeting Agenda?
• Download: How to Create a IEP/504 Plan for Your Child with ADHD

Susan Yellin, Esq., is the director of Advocacy and Transition Services at The Yellin Center for Mind, Brain, and Education in New York City.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

This course, featuring instructional videos from the world’s foremost experts in neurodivergent education, will guide parents and educators through a full syllabus of 51 webinar replays, 72 essential articles, 33 expert Q&As, 39 downloadable resources to share, 17 self-tests, 33 expert Q&As, 15 supplemental videos, and more.

Each lesson revolves around a common challenge for neurodivergent students:

• Learning Hurdle #1: ADHD Misinformation (How to educate educators on ADHD and recognize early signs of ADHD in the classroom)
• Learning Hurdle #2: ADHD Accommodations (How to advocate for your child, secure an effective IEP or 504 Plan, and ensure it’s being followed)
• Learning Hurdle #3: Distractibility and Inattention (How to help students hear and follow directions without losing focus or interest)
• Learning Hurdle #4: Weak Executive Functions (How to bolster executive function skills commonly impacted by ADHD, including working memory, prioritization, and time management)
• Learning Hurdle #5: Behavior Challenges (How to address and prevent the classroom behaviors that interfere with learning such as interrupting, hitting, and fidgeting)
• Learning Hurdle #6: Homework Problems (How to help students accurately log, prioritize, complete, and hand in assignments on time)
• Learning Hurdle #7: Learning Differences (How to best serve and teach students who have dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, auditory processing, dyspraxia, and other learning differences)
• Learning Hurdle #8: Social Struggles (How to teach social and emotional-regulation skills so that kids can make and keep friends more easily)
• Learning Hurdle #9: School Collaboration (How to facilitate and participate in parent-teacher-student cooperation and communication, particularly around accommodations)
• Learning Hurdle #10: Motivation and Resilience (How to build internal and external motivation to encourage resilience in students when they face school challenges)

NOTE: This resource is for personal use only.

Hi BacktoSchoolMom:

Getting ahead of back-to-school preparation is an overwhelming concern felt by many parents — regardless of their student’s age. We are very good at knowing we need to purchase school supplies (usually because we’ve been given a list). However, few of us instinctually know how to truly get our students and homes back-to-school ready.

Here are my top 10 tried-and-true back-to-school tips to prepare your student (and you!) for the new school year.

10 Back-to-School Tips for a Successful Year

1. Make Study Playlists. Music can help activate the ADHD brain. It can also bolster attention and focus. Some students need it to drown out distracting sounds. Others need it to get their adrenaline going. If your daughter needs music to get activated, suggest that she create a playlist of familiar songs that is 30 to 45 minutes long. (Some of my older students create different playlists for different subjects.)

My students tell me that this is one of their favorite tools for getting started on homework. It acts as a true motivator and timekeeper, it’s portable, and the list goes on and on. When it’s time for your daughter to begin her homework, switch on the playlist, and she’s ready to (literally) rock!

[Free Resource: Back-to-School Playbook]

2. Create a Personal Homework Profile. Homework is the last thing any child wants to do after a long school day, especially if the child has attention deficits and learning challenges. Creating a < ahref="https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-homework-plan-for-child/">Personal Homework Profile will help strengthen her homework muscle. Your daughter can note what strategies, tools, resources, environment, etc., she needs to get started, stay on task, and feel more productive. Having a plan when she begins homework takes the guesswork out of “What has worked for me before?”

Download a free copy of our Personal Homework Profile (additu.de/personal-homework-profile).

3. Review your daughter’s IEP or 504 Plan. A new school year ushers in change — new classes, new teachers, possibly a new school, etc. Now is the perfect time to review how your daughter’s learning needs have changed. Make sure her IEP or 504 Plan clearly states the goals, accommodations, and services you want for the coming year.

4. Set up a meeting with her guidance counselor or related professionals to start school on the right foot. Address expectations and concerns that you might have for your daughter during the upcoming school year and formulate a plan together. If it’s a new school, arrange a tour before the first day so your daughter can familiarize herself with the building.

5. Choose organizing supplies WITH your student. I know. I know. Most teachers send home a supply list. However, just as every student learns differently, not every organizing system works for every student! I firmly believe that teachers would prefer students use a system that allows them to be organizationally successful rather than use supplies that simply don’t work. If the suggested system doesn’t fit your daughter’s needs, have her explore alternatives. Visit an office supply store or order supplies online, so she feels and sees different options firsthand. Trust me. Students have a real sense of what feels “right” to them. Once she finds what works for her, compose an email to the teacher with all the details.

[Free Download: The Big List of ADHD School Resources]

6. Hang analog clocks in every room of your house where your daughter spends time. Analog clocks help you see the actual passing of time, allowing her to see the overall sweep of time as it passes. Why is this important? Because your daughter needs to be able to SEE her time so she can manage it. And a digital clock or phone only gives you one time: the present.

7. Create a landing zone. Every student needs a landing zone — that one place in the home where every item that travels in and out of the house lives. Think backpacks, soccer bags, dance tote, clarinet… you get the idea. Hang a whiteboard and clock in your landing zone, and make sure there is an outlet nearby for charging devices like phones and tablets. A landing zone will help improve organization for the entire family!

8. Set up the calendar. Whether your daughter chooses a planner, calendar, or electronic app, it’s the perfect time for her to load up her calendar with back-to-school plans, dates, appointments, after-school activities, etc.

9. Purchase alarm clocks. Yes, alarm clocks. Your daughter should NOT be using her phone as an alarm clock. Just make sure to choose one without a snooze function. My favorite is the Sonic Boom (#CommissionsEarned). It gets even the deepest sleepers out of bed!

10. Create a school supply zone. How will you know if your child is prepared for school? When your daughter finally sits down to do her work, does she have everything she needs? All in one place? Most likely not. There is a simple solution: Your daughter needs a school supply zone. This is not necessarily where students will do homework (You know I like students to move around while working), but a place in the house where their printer, textbooks, and supplies are located.

And a tip within a tip! When shopping for back-to-school items, stock up on all the essential supplies to avoid late-night trips to the store.

The first days of school are challenging for most students as they adjust to new routines and surroundings. Getting your “sea legs” takes time. I hope these tips help make the transition easier for you and your daughter.

Good Luck!

Back-to-School Tips: Next Steps

• Free Download: Sample Schedules for Reliable Family Routines
  
• Learn: Back-to-School Guide for ADHD Families
• Read: 3 Back-to-School Assignments for Parents

ADHD Family Coach Leslie Josel, of Order Out of Chaos, will answer questions from ADDitude readers about everything from paper clutter to disaster-zone bedrooms and from mastering to-do lists to arriving on time every time.

Submit your questions to the ADHD Family Coach here!

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication