You meet with your child’s teacher to describe what you’ve observed and to hear their perspective. You bring clearly organized data that tracks how long your child has worked on specific homework or lessons, how long they studied for tests, and how that studying has yielded poorer grades than would be expected. To your surprise, however, the teacher doesn’t seem concerned about possible learning disabilities. In fact, she argues that if your child “tried harder,” their performance would improve.

Response to Interventions (RTI)

Ideally, your child’s teacher would have listened to your concerns and suggested that the district conduct a thorough evaluation of your child’s skills and abilities to rule out any learning differences and determine if interventions are needed. Depending on the findings of this evaluation, your child might be classified as being in need of special education services under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), the federal law that governs special education services, or, alternatively, as a student in need of accommodations under Section 504.

In some schools, the teacher may tell you that the district has a program that offers interventions to struggling students and tracks the child’s response to these interventions—extra reading or math instruction, for example. This kind of program is called RTI, “Response to Intervention.” RTI can be very effective at offering support and can be all that some children need. But it is not offered in every school and is not always sufficient.

Your Rights, According to IDEA

You don’t think waiting is a good idea, so you make a request, in writing, to your school for a formal evaluation. You note that such an evaluation needs to be conducted within 60 days of your request (or sooner, in some states). But nothing happens. You may be told that the school doesn’t think your child needs an evaluation, or counseled to “wait and see” if the school’s interventions result in improvements. Sometimes, a school won’t schedule an evaluation and it won’t fully explain why.

[Read: The School Evaluation Process – How to Get Formal Assessments and Appropriate Services]

Know that the U.S. Department of Education (ED) rules that rejecting or delaying a request for an evaluation on the basis that a student has not completed an RTI process undermines the evaluation provisions of the IDEA. The ED has explicitly said that RTI cannot be used to delay an evaluation requested by a parent.

The IDEA prescribes remedies when parents disagree with an evaluation conducted by the school, but the law is strangely silent on what happens when the school simply declines to evaluate, with or without giving a reason.

If the school district denies a parental request for evaluation because they do not agree that the child may have a learning disability, the school must provide a written notice to the parents explaining why the school refuses to conduct an initial evaluation and citing the information that was used as the basis for this decision. Parents can challenge this decision through a due process hearing.

[Read: Twice the Challenge – Getting the Right Diagnosis]

Due Process Hearing vs IEEs: Options Explained

The right to an educational evaluation at public expense is a cornerstone of the IDEA, and the law provides that parents have the right to a due process hearing when that right is violated. A due process hearing is a trial type proceeding, conducted before a state hearing officer. The major drawbacks to this path are that parents may need an attorney to navigate the process and that it can take months to get a resolution or decision.

Another option would be to obtain an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE), a private evaluation paid for by the family, which the school district is required to consider (although not to follow) in making decisions about a student’s eligibility for special education classification and services. The district may pay for an IEE, but only when a district evaluation has been completed and the parents disagree with its findings.

An IEE can be expensive, although some colleges with psychology training programs will offer low-cost evaluations conducted by doctoral students as part of their training. And many private evaluators determine fees on a sliding scale.

Persistence Pays Off

Do not give up on seeking an evaluation by your school when faced with these barriers. You know how hard your child is trying. Let the school know that, if needed, you will file for a hearing to obtain an evaluation and make it clear that you won’t stop until the school steps in to provide your child with the evaluation to which they are entitled.

There may be a “Special Education PTA” in your district, or a local organization that can represent parents at little or no charge. These can help you with strategies and representation so that you can be the “squeaky wheel” on your child’s behalf. And know that even after the evaluation is completed, you will still have to work with the school’s Committee on Special Education or 504 team to have your child properly classified and to craft an effective IEP or 504 Plan to support their learning.

An evaluation is the key to opening the door to a wide array of services and supports. Getting this evaluation may be difficult, but it can be of enormous benefit to your child.

Learning Disability Evaluations: Next Steps

• Free Resource: Fight for Your Child’s Rights at School
• Self Test: Could My Child Have a Learning Disability?
• Read: Dear ADDitude – Why Has My Child’s IEP Been Denied?
• Listen: Your Legal Rights at School

Susan Yellin, Esq. is the Director of Advocacy and Transition Services at The Yellin Center for Mind, Brain, and Education, in New York City.

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Over the past 10 years, I’ve learned to sew and knit mittens, bake bread, bake sourdough bread (a completely different process), decorate cakes, cook and preserve a variety of foods, make candles, craft homemade lip balm and lotion, and edit with Photoshop. I volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters, ran four half marathons and three full marathons, did a triathlon, and a (maybe ill-advised) mountain race, all as I earned a master’s degree.

I’m on a side quest right now. I am writing a biology unit even though my school doesn’t currently offer a biology class. Should I devote my time to other lessons? Probably. But I tend to plan my lessons as they come to me. I’ve learned that my best work comes when I follow my creative instincts. Even if I forced myself to work linearly, I know it would result in subpar lesson plans.

[Read: Why the ADHD Brain Chooses the Less Important Task]

I don’t list these side quests, many of which I consider accomplishments, to brag, (I am not particularly good at any of the above) but to emphasize that if anyone knows about ADHD side quests – the good and the not-so-good parts of them – it’s me. I can’t tell you how many times I’d set out to do something, like clean my kitchen, only to spend that time doing anything but, like perfecting my baking skills. As frustrating as it is to stray from my intentions (I ended up with yummy bread and a dirtier kitchen), I firmly believe that all the side quests I’ve embarked on have served me in the long run. I also know that this breadth of learning is only possible when I lean into my ADHD.

What’s Life – and Learning – Without Side Quests?

While funny, the ADHD meme suggests that side quests and non-linear paths are ultimately wasteful. It’s a mentality I see in the field of education, which is quick to discourage and even punish side quests and non-linear approaches. Students are largely taught to complete the main quest using only a handful of accepted procedures, without room for detours. It’s a mentality that negatively affects students who learn differently, including students with ADHD, who come to learn to view their condition as an impediment to academic success.

Side quests, I say, are not wasteful. Even within video games, you can earn rewards for playing side quests and gain skills that eventually aid in completing the main quest. If you shut off the game after finishing a handful of side quests, without so much as attempting the main quest, you would still consider it a success, if not a good time.

How can we bring this approach to learning? I have a few ideas.

[Read: Stifled Creativity and Its Damaging Impact on the ADHD Brain]

1. Recognize that success and learning come in many forms. Point A to Point B may work for some students, but some of us need to stop at Points C through F, with a layover at stoichiometry and a quick detour to the American Revolution.

2. Provide opportunities to go down the rabbit hole. We should encourage students to take tangents and scratch those exploratory itches. My students get two days at the end of each term for digging deeper into a topic that was particularly interesting to them and then sharing with the class. It’s an opportunity to hyperfocus that also increases engagement, and it teaches students to view tangents and side quests in a positive light.

3. Reframe mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Mistakes and snags are part of learning (we can even consider them as side quests of their own), but it’s not always pleasant to brush up against them, whether they happen on side quests or the main quest. Take a page from video games, where failure doesn’t really exist and mistakes aren’t the end of the world. You may lose the round, but you’re allowed to play and play, using what you’ve learned until you get it right and move on to the next level.

How to Engage Students: Next Steps

• Read: “How Teachers Can Initiate and Promote Inclusive Education”
• Read: “Why Curious, Questioning Students are Highly Underrated”
• Read: How to Encourage Creativity in Children with ADHD

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First of all, I’m very sorry that this happened to your son. I remember going to an IEP meeting for one of my twice-exceptional students, a brilliant young man who had tremendous difficulty with written assignments. A lack of appropriate accommodations caused him to burn out, so we called a meeting. I remember saying to the team of teachers sitting around, “Are you literally trying to make sure this child cannot be successful in your classroom? Because that’s what it feels like to me.”

In your child’s case, an effective way to incorporate burnout prevention in his IEP is by ensuring that task analysis be done on all assignments. Task analysis — or breaking down a task into smaller, more manageable steps — is crucial for managing overwhelm.

[Read: “Are Your High-Achieving Students Burning Out? Why It’s Critical to Know.”]

With this type of accommodation, your child’s teachers can break down a big research project, for example, into smaller, concrete tasks that keep your child motivated. Step One can be identifying the research topic. Step Two can be submitting a list of resources and websites your child will consult for the research project. Step Three can be preparing an outline, then a draft followed by feedback and another draft, and so on until the project is successfully completed. Each step and corresponding deadline must be identified and laid out in your child’s calendar well before the project even begins. Checkpoints should also be worked in; these help to raise flags to teachers if your child goes off track and needs additional support.

How far apart to space these tasks will depend on their nature and how they relate to your child’s strengths and areas of need. Even then, extended time on a task — beyond a two-day extension — might be necessary for your child.

Especially in advanced classes, it’s often difficult for teachers to understand that the timelines they propose for accomplishing various tasks are not reasonable for every student. I’ve had teachers say, “If I give one student extra time, I’m going to have to give the whole class extra time.” My response, which I suggest you use: “What do you want? Do you want excellent, or do you want fast?”

Academic Burnout Prevention: Next Steps

• Read: When Gifted Kids Burn Out — How to Support Twice-Exceptional Students
• Read: Unlocking the Potential of Gifted Kids with ADHD
• Read: “I Grew Up Gifted and Autistic — and Suffered the Burnout of Twice Exceptionality”

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude webinar titled, “Avoiding & Recovering from 2e Burnout: Support for Gifted Students” [Video Replay & Podcast #467] with Mary Ruth Coleman, Ph.D., which was broadcast on August 17, 2023.

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Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Help your 2e student avoid burnout by learning its early warning signs and creating systems that reduce their day-to-day overwhelm. Here’s how.

Gifted Kid Burnout: Why It Happens and How to Spot It

The distance between 2e kids’ strengths and challenges is vast. These students may feel incredibly smart at times, like when they master a concept much faster than their peers. But dread and panic set in when dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety, or symptoms of another condition seem to hijack their academic progress.

As twice-exceptional kids navigate this complex, exhausting combination of polar-opposite attributes, their self-concept suffers and imposter syndrome may set in. They may think, “Maybe I’m not so smart after at.” Even comments from parents, teachers, and other adults — “You could achieve so much if you just applied yourself,” or “I know you are capable of so much more” — can fuel self-doubt and stress in these kids.

[Read: Lost, Late, or Burnt Out?]

As school demands inevitably pile up and become more complex, 2e kids need specific and anticipatory supports. Without appropriate supports, the demands outstrip a student’s capacity to cope, and the burnout pattern begins. Signs of 2e burnout include the following:

• withdrawing and closing off from others; moving into a “safe zone”
• irritability and impulsivity; lashing and acting out
• rigid, inflexible thinking; unable to “go with the flow”
• feeling overwhelmed
• feeling trapped and helpless

How to Avoid Burnout: Strategies for Gifted Kids

Look for Patterns

Help your child recognize situations — times, tasks, subjects, and settings — that cause them to feel overwhelmed. This way, they can plan ahead, lean on their strengths, and reduce their chances of burning out. Ask your child questions like the following to increase their self-awareness:

• What time of day do you feel your best? When do you feel your worst?
• Which skills do you enjoy using?
• Which classes and subjects do you enjoy the most? Which ones do you find most challenging, and why?

[Read: How to Teach Emotional Regulation Skills]

Build and Practice Coping Skills

As your child begins to recognize their patterns, encourage them to ask, “How might I respond when I’m in a stressful situation? How can I be flexible when things don’t go as expected? Which coping strategies would help me the most?” Possible coping strategies include the following:

• practicing mindfulness, trying breathing exercises, and observing feelings
• taking breaks, especially during challenging tasks or moments
• saying a positive affirmation
• asking, “If I had a friend who was experiencing this, what advice would I give them?”
• asking parents, teachers, and/or friends for help (social connections are key for promoting resilience)

Coping skills are virtually impossible to learn while stress is unfolding, so help your child practice these skills often. Remind your child that identifying and applying the right coping skills during moments of stress is a process of trial and error that requires patience and persistence.

Create Daily Structure

Visual schedules and routines provide 2e children with the predictability they need to feel in control, conserve resources, and manage stress. Scheduling starts with a bird’s-eye view of important dates — like tests, project deadlines, music recitals — and tapers down to what’s happening on a weekly, daily, and hourly level.

• Color-code must-dos, should-dos, and want-to-dos that comprise your child’s schedule. Viewing to-dos like this can help your child readily adjust plans and make time for what really matters. Downtime and fun time are vital, so be sure to help your child make room for non-academic pursuits and passions.
• Review weekly and daily schedules with the goal of anticipating and reducing stress. At the beginning of each week, ask your child to mark which days ahead might be stressful, and what can be done about it, like practicing coping skills or changing plans to avoid an overloaded schedule. It might be difficult for your child — as is the case for many bright, motivated kids who want to do it all — to drop plans. Remind your child that more is not necessarily better, and that the goal is to reduce stress so they can thrive.
• Develop routines that align with your child’s rhythms. When do they hit their stride? When are they typically hungry? When do they need downtime? How many hours of sleep do they need? What do they need to successfully transition through activities? Build these daily patterns into your child’s schedule.

Provide Supportive Physical Environments

• Establish zones for major tasks — studying, playing, eating, etc. — with all the supplies your child would need for a given activity.
• Declutter spaces to help your child focus in a distraction-free environment.
• Everything has a home; put high-use items, like sports equipment and backpacks, in the same place each time to avoid the unnecessary stress of looking for misplaced items.
• Help your child sort, clean, and repack their backpack as often as needed, whether daily or weekly. Together, create a “clean and ready backpack” checklist.
• Decorate your child’s spaces. Add visuals, sounds, and smells that help your child feel calm and happy.

Maintain Motivation

• Task analyzing — or breaking down a task into smaller steps and incorporating breaks — is an important practice to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed especially if your child’s first reaction to big projects or difficult subjects is, “There is no way I can do that!”
• What does your child want to accomplish? Help them identify small and big, short-and long-term goals — academic and beyond — that matter to them.
• Use a reward system to help your child stay motivated as they display effort and persistence toward a goal, use their coping skills, and show other desired behaviors. Help them identify rewards of all kinds that genuinely interest them, and assign point values to small and large rewards. Check in often to make sure previously selected rewards and goals still matter to your child.

Gifted Kid Burnout: Next Steps for 2e Kids

• Free Download: 20 Learning Strategies Designed for Students with ADHD
• Read: “I Grew Up Gifted and Autistic — and Suffered the Burnout of Twice Exceptionality”
• Read: “My Gifted Teen Has ADHD — and So. Much. Frustration.”

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude webinar titled, “Avoiding & Recovering from 2e Burnout: Support for Gifted Students” [Video Replay & Podcast #467] with Mary Ruth Coleman, Ph.D., which was broadcast on August 17, 2023.

References

Coleman M. R. (2016). Recognizing young children with high potential: U-STARS∼PLUS. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1377(1), 32–43. https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.13161

Kirk, S. A., Gallagher, J. J., & Coleman, M. R. (2015). Educating exceptional children (14th ed.). Belmont, CA: Cengage.

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Throughout the college application process, I learned the importance of surrounding myself with people and environments that set me up for success. Here’s more advice for neurodivergent students evaluating and applying to colleges.

1. Plan Ahead

My first piece of advice is to plan as far ahead as possible! My college search began sophomore year when I set up a meeting with my college admissions counselor. No major plans were made, but I gained a basic understanding of when and how I would apply to schools.

[Free Download: Securing Accommodations in College]

2. Take Standardized Tests Early

I took the ACT for the first time the summer before my junior year. I highly recommend doing this. This gives you time to practice and make room for improvement. It also ensures you have testing accommodations in place. Fortunately, I am a good (albeit slow) test taker and eligible for extra time because of my ADHD. Alternatively, you may opt to apply to test-optional colleges and use the time to focus on other application parts.

3. Gather Research

Beyond taking the ACT, most of my prep work before senior year comprised attending college information sessions, researching schools, and brainstorming essay ideas. I gathered as much information as possible on the universities’ academics, costs, and accommodation programs. However, finding a strong and collaborative student community was my most important job. By the spring of junior year, I had compiled my list of colleges and ranked the University of Notre Dame as my top choice.

4. Brainstorm Essay Ideas

I began drafting a Common App essay the summer before senior year. Give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm ideas before you start writing. Great ideas do not happen overnight.

5. Get Feedback

Ask others to read your essays and offer feedback. I love storytelling, but my grammar is never great. One friend had the opposite problem, so we helped each other; I brainstormed ideas for him, and he fixed all my comma errors. Trading also prevented me from procrastinating.

6. Pick a Writing Strategy

Find a writing strategy for your college essay that works with how your brain thinks. If you are unsure, take a creative writing class. My essay was closer to poetry than an academic essay. I tried to have a strong narrative and told unique stories from my life, such as hanging a wagon in a Magnolia tree, traveling to see a solar eclipse, learning life lessons at summer camp, and being admitted into a secret theater society.

7. Give Yourself Grace

Be sure to give yourself grace. I am very grateful to attend Notre Dame. However, I’ve learned that no matter how hard I work, some things don’t end up as I imagined. During my recent search for a summer internship, I didn’t receive interviews for several large companies I absolutely loved and had networked with for months. The waiting game was so tough. Though I was disappointed, I kept putting myself out there, talked to other companies, and applied for jobs. I eventually did receive an amazing offer unexpectedly from one conversation at a career fair with a small boutique consulting firm. The company completely changed my perspective on the industry, and I made a very different decision than I initially thought I would.

[Self-Test: Could My Child Have a Learning Difference?]

8. Keep An Open Mind

Good can be found in all places. I imagined myself at Notre Dame and have loved my college years. At the same time, my summer internship completely took me by surprise, and yet, I know it will be a fantastic experience. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of openness and perseverance. Remember that, as a student with learning differences and ADHD you have had to work especially hard to find your place in the world. I am fully confident that by prioritizing a supportive community, planning, and having an open mind, you will find yourself surrounded by amazing opportunities and people better than you can imagine.

ADHD College Advice: Next Steps

• Blog: “Yes, You Do Belong in College”
• Read: Choosing Your Dream College: 6 Criteria for Students with ADHD
• Free Download: What Are Your Teen’s Weakest Executive Functions?
• Watch: “The College Application Guide for Neurodivergent Students”

Meaghan Northup grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, and is a junior at the University of Notre Dame, where she is studying Business Analytics and French.

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I obediently rose from my small desk to meet said stranger, who had lots of questions for me as we made our way down the hallway: How old was I? 8. Did I have any brothers or sisters? Yes, three. Which hand did I use to write? I raised my left hand when I meant to raise my right – a nervous mistake.

The stranger and I made our way to a small, windowless room I had never seen before, where other children around my age, unfamiliar to me, were sitting at a large, oddly shaped table. That small room eventually became a regular part of my routine. Why was I there? Because of reading challenges — from word recognition to reading comprehension — uncovered from earlier rounds of testing.

I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. School had already been a challenge for me even before the second grade. Starting in kindergarten, I struggled with seemingly simple tasks — learning the alphabet, tying my shoes, cutting with scissors, and other primary language and motor skills — that left me behind my classmates. Making friends was a challenge, and I was always just a step behind the conversation or action.

Oddly enough, no one discussed this change in my schedule, not my teachers, parents, or the few friends I had. Months after the stranger first appeared, acknowledgement of this change finally came in the form of a piercing, unforgettable comment from my teacher – my tormentor. When I was allowed to rejoin a reading group in my “regular” classroom, my teacher said, “Let’s see how long you last.”

[Read: Reading Strategies That Grow with Your Child]

My reading did improve, although standardized test scores indicated otherwise. Eventually, I stopped receiving reading remediation, but my school experience continued to be bumpy. I struggled to prepare for tests, and even with significant preparation, I would be met with tearful results and frustration from my parents. For some time in middle school, I got so anxious that I would get sick to my stomach on Monday mornings, which landed me in the emergency room; at age 11, I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer.

Even in areas where I did excel, I wasn’t free from stumbling. I loved physics and understood its theories but would get stuck on memorizing and applying formulas. I had to repeat math, and a college with no math requirement was a top priority when I began applying. The understanding I had formed of myself as a learner — not as quick as the other kids who seemed to “get” school so much more easily than me — seemed at odds with some of the honors classes into which I had been placed.

Still, I survived school with an anxious sense of uncertainty, not ever understanding why it was so difficult for me.

Hidden Strengths

As researcher and social entrepreneur Dr. Todd Rose notes, “We all have jagged profiles; there is no average.” This is certainly true in my case. Much later in my life, during my first neuropsychological evaluation, I learned that I had combined-type ADHD that had been undiagnosed all this time. I exhibited significant struggles with executive functioning, including working memory. My oral reading accuracy was at the 30th percentile, with a “high rate of errors” along with other reading difficulties. And despite believing that I was not good in math, I actually scored above the 90th percentile in this subject.

[Read: The Dyslexia and ADHD Connection]

My profile is, indeed, jagged. My weaknesses, like difficulty with sustained attention, are offset by areas of great strength, like visual-perceptual skills. Of course, given the lack of a diagnosis, it took 30 years for me to uncover whether I was truly less capable or if there was a reason for my struggles.

The Champions Who Kept Me Going

Indeed, I experienced many struggles. But I did meet some champions along the way — select teachers and individuals who believed in my potential and encouraged me. I also found a group of friends with whom I could feel smart because we were all much more interested in learning things outside of school. I found joy working on automobiles and anything mechanical that I could take apart and put back together.

Even in college, which was a difficult transition for me, to say the least, what kept me going when I was one phone call away from dropping out were the people who cared for me, believed in my potential, and challenged me to work toward it. This same motivational factor reemerged several times throughout my life, which I credit for my successes.

A few months after graduating, I drove my younger sibling to middle school — the same one I had attended a decade earlier. We ran into one of my former teachers, and just as she had years earlier, she became a champion in my life that day when she encouraged me to do the unthinkable: Return to middle school. I enlisted as a substitute teacher that same week, fueling a passion to change the way we think about and educate kids.

Today, I am the president of The Dyslexia Foundation, director of the Global Literacy Hub at the Yale Child Study Center, and executive director of The Southport School and The Southport CoLAB, which serves kids who think and learn differently, many of whom have been marginalized or struggled in mainstream academic environments.

People frequently ask me, “What does it take to help struggling kids thrive in school?” I don’t have a singular answer, but I do know this: How children feel about themselves depends heavily on whether they have champions in their lives. These champions can leverage a child’s strengths, improve their self-perception, and motivate them toward positive change. I know this because my own champions helped me change my internal dialogue, little by little.

At my school in Southport, Connecticut, we bet on our students, just like some key people in my life bet on me. We choose to believe in their potential so that they don’t have to find those one or two teachers who believe in them. We don’t allow strangers to arrive at classroom doors and pull students out, as the relationship we build with our students is based on trust. We champion them unconditionally and appreciate them fully – no one is a stranger here.

Supporting Students with Learning Differences: Next Steps

• Free Teacher Training: The ADHD Learning Series for Educators
• Read: How Teachers Can Initiate and Promote Inclusive Education
• Read: “Your Brain Is Amazing!” 5 Things All Neurodivergent Teens Need to Hear

Dr. Benjamin N. Powers is the executive director of The Southport School, an independent day school for cerebrodiverse children in grades 2-8 with language-based learning differences such as dyslexia and attention issues. He is also the founder and executive director of The Southport CoLAB, Director of the Global Literacy Hub at the Yale Child Study Center, a senior scientist with Haskins Laboratories, and president of The Dyslexia Foundation.